It is just the beginning
of a journey to a mysterious and unknown road. Now only I am beginning to feel alone
and unsafe. Loneliness, impatient and un-satisfaction is my constant companion.
I miss my dad and mom back at village. So many questions crosses my mind as to when
does I get my own home? When do I get job? When do I stop thinking about all
these insecurities and complications?
When do I become independent-to stand on my own feet? There still awaits dozens of months at least.
How I will survive, I just wonder. I feel uneasy to walk the streets of Thimphu
with head held high. For people like me, hailing from the remote part of the
country, completing study is one big challenge, another bigger challenge is after
you complete your studies and before you get job. Having to stay at other’s
home, while fulfilling necessary obligations; having to live every moment of
life as a pendulum that swings to and fro with so many questions, so many
insecurities and so many guilt’s; having to worry about how long it will be
like this is even more torturing.
Life is full of
compromises and we ought to be satisfied and abide by the very its very rules
and regulations for we have little options. People say we do have choices for
everything in life, yet some things in life are beyond the reach of our hand. We
are left with but the blames and liabilities to our own brows. The black and
white on the sheet of paper and the lip services we hear from various sources
are far from the truth when it comes to the reality. Not every individual is
fortunate enough to enjoy the same rhythm as one; not everyone is tuned to the
same tone. Each has one’s own taste of music and own share of puzzle that
entails one’s own thumb. Life is not always defined by what we aspire or what
we dream of; there are so many twists and turns, so many shadows, created by
the presence of light.
But still, no matter how much
disgraced we are in the evening, with every rising sun in the morning, we all
wake up with hopes once again rejuvenated, with wishes and actions once again
on the track for better later and ahead. This is such a big cycle that
continues and repeats with each tick of the clock. For an idle man like me; such
is the only fate for now; I try to inculcate and use it to the fullest; to hope
against hope; finding some hole of a pane even in the midst of shadows and trying
hard to thrive against stronger forces.
