Thursday, 27 June 2013

An unwelcomed feelings!

It is just the beginning of a journey to a mysterious and unknown road. Now only I am beginning to feel alone and unsafe. Loneliness, impatient and un-satisfaction is my constant companion. I miss my dad and mom back at village. So many questions crosses my mind as to when does I get my own home? When do I get job? When do I stop thinking about all these insecurities and complications?  When do I become independent-to stand on my own feet?  There still awaits dozens of months at least. How I will survive, I just wonder. I feel uneasy to walk the streets of Thimphu with head held high. For people like me, hailing from the remote part of the country, completing study is one big challenge, another bigger challenge is after you complete your studies and before you get job. Having to stay at other’s home, while fulfilling necessary obligations; having to live every moment of life as a pendulum that swings to and fro with so many questions, so many insecurities and so many guilt’s; having to worry about how long it will be like this is even more torturing.

Life is full of compromises and we ought to be satisfied and abide by the very its very rules and regulations for we have little options. People say we do have choices for everything in life, yet some things in life are beyond the reach of our hand. We are left with but the blames and liabilities to our own brows. The black and white on the sheet of paper and the lip services we hear from various sources are far from the truth when it comes to the reality. Not every individual is fortunate enough to enjoy the same rhythm as one; not everyone is tuned to the same tone. Each has one’s own taste of music and own share of puzzle that entails one’s own thumb. Life is not always defined by what we aspire or what we dream of; there are so many twists and turns, so many shadows, created by the presence of light.


But still, no matter how much disgraced we are in the evening, with every rising sun in the morning, we all wake up with hopes once again rejuvenated, with wishes and actions once again on the track for better later and ahead. This is such a big cycle that continues and repeats with each tick of the clock. For an idle man like me; such is the only fate for now; I try to inculcate and use it to the fullest; to hope against hope; finding some hole of a pane even in the midst of shadows and trying hard to thrive against stronger forces.