Call with Dad

After tiring day at work, Sonam went straight home to take rest, to take a short nap, but the sleep was nowhere near, so he decided to call his dad back at village just to see if his mom and dad were doing good. At the other end of the connection, his father’s voice looked tired and exhausted. He felt pity! He inquired if his dad was alright. Well, his wasn’t sick, only tired from the day’s work. His dad has been continuously working in the jungle with the rocks, making piece of bricks to construct house for some people in return for some cash. Sonam felt real pity and told why he has to get involved in such heavy works at this age; that he can of help, now that he is employed and settled.  His dad is almost 60 years now. His father’s reply shocked and made the tears roll down his cheeks.

His father said: “How much and how many people will you help? Even you are not sufficient yourself; having tough time meeting the ends” Sonam felt wounded, filled with guilt like someone shot a direct arrow to his heart. “What have I done? Did I forget that parents should be the first priority for any child? Did I just forget that what I am today is because of them? Did I just make the biggest blunder by marrying too early and starting my own family too early” he wondered. That one sentence left him blank for some time until his dad at the other end said what happened?  Sonam said he was fine and that there was some glitch in the connection instead. He felt devastated with guilt. His dad wasn’t finished yet and said that he was going to try even harder when his strength can so he doesn’t have to bother him. Sonam felt guilty even more, the guilt of being a useless and helpless kid.

“Are you there sonam?” his father said.

“I am sorry, something came up, I have to go. I will call you back. Please take care papa and give regards to mom. Bye” sonam replied and disconnected the call.

Back on the couch, sonam wasn’t busy nor did something come up. He couldn’t believe the change life has brought about upon his life; he couldn’t resist the guilt, thinking what his aging parents has had to go through whole of their life for their sake - first bringing them up, giving education and now for their own sake when its time instead to reap their work with their children preparing for their next encounter- Death.

Is this so-called the cycle of life?  He wondered…..

What’s in the name?

I often wonder how one would communicate with another if there wasn’t such thing as name and the so-called name doesn’t even exist at all? Luckily (or unluckily) we all have names, various ones. It becomes easy and convenient for us to communicate.  However not all names are different; most Bhutanese in particular have similar or same names. Just out of curiosity, I typed my name in the search box of Facebook and I was actually surprised to see pages full of names same as mine. As much as it eases us, sometimes having similar or same name can become ugly and unpleasant. It can become cumbersome with serious consequences like the recent incident of Bhutan Airline (Tashi air) at Kolkata. It was shocking to see people sharing the wrong news. Almost all of Indian News outlets wrote about the incident as the one that happened with Royal Bhutan Airlines (Drukair) instead of Bhutan airlines. This questions the very credibility of those papers. How can one trust if they spread the wrong information just because they were careless and least bothered to scrutinize. Is there not enough time to investigate such details which can have huge impact? Are all news reporters the same- so hungry to report and write half-baked stories? It raises more questions than answers. As a major means of communication, newspapers must stick with facts and figures supplemented by in-depth cover ups, investigations and confirmations. And especially for commercial companies like airlines, right information is very important and sensitive because it is dealing with the flow of people in and out and such wrong news and information (which people depends up on) can have devastating and irreparable consequences both immediate and in the long run.

Fortunately Drukair, the Royal Bhutan Airline chose immediately to release press righting the wrong. Newspapers in Bhutan should learn lesson from recent incident. Even the National newspaper Kuensel which wrote about another incident about Drukair flight KB205 in the earlier week having to land back at Delhi airport was also overstated. The aircraft wasn’t mid-way as stated in the paper. The aircraft just took off when a fault of the rear cargo door was shown on the ECAM and it had to land back to rectify. That’s what the crew did and I wonder what breaking news was there to report? Incidents such as these are common for aircraft is also combination of machines and machine does fail you know. Anyway that’s just the clarification.

So there are both advantage and disadvantage of having same or similar names. We are defined; shaped and known by the names. We get attracted by the unique and the striking nature of it. Today’s generation gives a lot of time and energy to the names. If you see the census, most of the older generations have their names given out of love and pamper but often short and funny. The shops have all sorts of name to attract customers, organizations does the same. You see there is also a pinch of politics in there; so there actually are a lot of things in the mere thing called name. 

Surviving in Thimphu

Thimphu is a beautiful city to live in, it is clean and peaceful. Foreigners called it a “very beautiful village” just because it is a small town despite being the capital city of tiny country. It has evolved from once a thick forest with lush forest into a so-called modern city with concrete buildings all over. The usual chirping of bird is replaced by noisy and busy honks of cars. The serene light of moon at night is replaced by various patterns of modern electric lights. All in all, Thimphu really has changed and it has rather become and expensive one to live.

And to dwell in it and make living isn’t an easy loaf of bread! It may be a small village to foreigners or big-wigs, yet to a common men surviving at Thimphu is hard and difficult. The so-called development has brought in with it so many challenges and hardships. As much as one would love to stay and work at here, for all the facilities, be it health, social or a sense of emotional comfort or business, there is an equal if not more burdens as to how one is able to survive and avail those services. Mind it every blessing comes at price which is often expensive. Perhaps that’s why there are all sorts of juvenile crimes on the rise like theft, robbery and murder. Because when the society and the circumstances demands beyond one’s ability, beyond one can afford, people resort into all kind of crazy acts. And the sad thing is that it’s only going to get worse. The only viable solution is to get used to it.

It hardly matters if you are but a graduate, having a decent job and earning a good income at the end of the month or not, because those services and the landlords doesn’t see if you are earning less or more. They don’t see if you have large number of siblings to look after and take care or not. They don’t see if you are from poor back ground or not.  When half of your pay goes to landlords as a rent; the other ten percent to bills which are countless; what are you gonna to do with the remaining? To feed yourself and family or support your siblings and parents who think you are an officer and that you are earning so much? That is why surviving in Thimphu is tough. That is why it is a make or break situation to live in Thimphu.

I wonder how people manages to smile at the end of day despite all the challenges and hardships they face every day and I realize that perhaps that’s what we Bhutanese really are in general in the core. Despite all the complains and criticisms we still remember the triple gem and pay homage, we still manage to pray and thank ; perhaps that’s the ultimate purpose of life to go on with the flow least bothered by the swaying winds of greed, agony and fear? I finally realize that you don’t need number of buildings and acres of land to thrive. Well then am I content? Have I enough? Perhaps! Because I am surviving!

Until next time, Thank you.

Becoming Parent

I am going to start with this: ‘It is NOT easy to be a parent’. It is not a piece of cake for girls to become a parent (it is at the least Ok for husband); you only know the fact and realize when you are walking here and there through the alleys of hospital.  Salute to all the mothers and girls, who have brought in beautiful souls to this beautiful world with so much pain and hardships.

On the other hand, it is always a bundle of joy to be parent, the amount of happiness it brings with far exceeds the petty burdens it comes with. Every new day, seeing your kid grow up makes you smile, it keeps you at bay from the stress of a day’s work. By the way kids today grow so fast! It is nice to learn a lot of new things; we do learn a lot after becoming parent. It is a transition period where you suddenly steps from a carefree land into the one full of responsibilities, duties and care. There is this sudden change of priorities and perception. You become lot more matured and know-everything, careful and alert. You get to check a lot of things for yourself, change for the good of yourself and that little soul if need be, because once you become parent, you are everything to that little soul who looks upon and it hardly matters if that soul is just a month old or so. It is beautiful and wonderful experience.

But it isn’t easy as I told; firstly to accept and adapt (for first timers) the fact that you are now a parent yourself. Just yesterday you were but a carefree and careless kid who never gave a thought about all those responsibilities like upbringing another soul, when you can’t even take care of yourself. Being mindful, showing love or being tender doesn’t come easily. The facts that you have to consider all these make you don’t wanna accept all. But the time heals all and in fact such awareness only makes you a better human if not a better parent.

To become parent, it isn’t enough to be ready just physically; you ought to be ready emotionally and be mentally prepared. Financial security is another you gotta think about.  Like a colleague of mine says, in today’s world, deciding to have child is like buying an expensive commodity. And I believe he isn’t wrong after all.

Being Bhutanese and living in Bhutan is another blessing. With free medical services, thanks to successive kings of our country and the government of the day, it’s so very easy for couples to get their babies born. The nurses at the hospital are very courteous, kind, dedicated and helpful.  So thank you. To the nurses, you really are the backbone of a hospital the society at large, so thank you.

To my wife, thank you so much for coming thus far. Thank you for all the sacrifices. You have been a wonderful mother and to our little wonderful soul, welcome to this beautiful world. 

Looking at Life

Have you ever thought in life like if only I took the other way, like if only I made different choice or if only I thought twice, if only I can go back etc? I have, many times and it still haunts me sometimes.  We come across many junctures where we have to make decisions, choices and it is not always in our favor. We don’t realize if it is right or wrong at that very moment t. It is with time, where at times you look back, sigh and sometimes wonder with vague questions running through your nerves and spinning around making you dizzy. The more you try to find answer, the more you tend to get questions. As such life goes on.

As young energetic guys (and girls) driven by varied emotions, we tend to easily get trapped into sometimes unwise and junky sticky areas. You see emotions are sensitive and powerful; it can make or break one’s life. There are some very specific areas where I think my emotions have taken over my wisdom to make decisions. Some were taken ad-hoc while others repetitively have engraved me to haste and make some of the worst decisions of my life which I regret terribly. But at the same time I also have something good to cherish, perhaps without those wrong decisions, I wouldn’t be where I stand right now. Perhaps to balance between these two is our prerogative and at our very hand. I don’t think there is anyone who haven’t had both rough and smooth trail.  The point is whether you are driven by sheer emotion or wisdom, we ought to step back once and look forward as to see the clear picture of what lies ahead. Don’t ever haste to make decisions. If you think you are ready get married just because you have a decent job, think also about the baggage it comes with and the consequences after. If you think your current job will make you happy and satisfied, think also about why you can’t fit into another profession. If you thought you could make your parents happy and serve them with all the love and care, think also about why you are not happy in the first place. If you think family and relatives are all you have got, think also about a friend who accompanies you through thick and thin. If you think only bad things are on your way, think also otherwise about when you had that genuine smile on your face.

Life is really a mess if we can’t separate a grain from sand!