Oh! Never or at least not now

Oh illness please never or at least not now, everything is just the beginning and I got to do lot of things before you engulf me and take me to the gate of  your boss, the death. Is it even fair for you to pick me among thousand and cast spell upon me? Why me? Don’t you see how happy I am right now, how ambitious I am full of hopes and aspirations? Don’t you see how much I look forward to carry out the unfinished business? What did you expect to get from a skinny skin like mine? How do you choose your right candidate anyway?

My career is just at the base and I got to climb, shape and race with the rest. Don’t you see how I am trying hard to fit in? I have siblings in line who follows me with great expectations and I ought to help them, pull them up, and guide them. I got to be by their side. Who will be at my place if you take me away so soon? Who will look after my parents who lives with every dream to see me shine and radiate my success to them? Every bit of my success, happiness (and sadness) is theirs too. I ought to serve them with pride and dignity. For all their love, care and hardships, do I not owe them a happy face at the least? Or is it too much to ask?

And most importantly I am not yet prepared to meet your boss right now, because like I said, I have so many other things to do before I prepare and ready myself for your boss. Like Bhutanese saying, don’t be early to renounce worldly matters for dharma and don’t be too late to start worldly business (something like this roughly), I am still young on the budge of blooming and I still have the stages to be a dad and husband one day, experience what it means to have family of your own, see children and be proud of them. Of course it doesn’t mean that I am not preparing or will not prepare, it’s just that time is too limited for now and I can’t fully dedicate myself for that preparation. Or are you going to snatch it all from me at this moment only?

Why don’t you cajole your boss that it was all mistaken to pick me and that I be given one more chance? Why don’t you make me realize that life is for reason and purpose and that I live it without any remorse; show me instead reason to enjoy while I prepare and ready myself to meet you and your boss with smile on my face.  When it is time, I will surrender myself before you and your boss, but right now please! Give me some time.

Fear

Fear is one that wakes us up from slumber of nothingness, it motivates us while it also paralyzes and numbs us. Fear keeps us alert and ascertain; it instill in us the sincerity to serve, calmness to be careful although our reflex actions are most proactive and sudden in times of fear. Fear make us think hard to find ways to move forward and tackle with methodologies that are often right below our eyes that we fail to see, for we tend to see far away distances. It guides us to find the real potential in us, what we are capable of and what lies beyond the boundaries of confinement. Without fear, we tend to take it for granted, laziness creeps in and things like procrastination become our constant companion. We are made up so many kinds of fear; fear of failing, fear to lose, fear to confront, fear to accept the reality, and etc….

Perhaps that’s why life is but mixture of charms, excitement, frustrations, despondency and confrontations.

                                                                                                                             To be continued........

Of brags, blames and belittlements

In life we come across various kinds of people. Some come with load of encouragement and inspiration. We derive immense likeness and admiration just by the mere watch and talk. Some come with heavy prices, price tags and some teach us lessons that remain with us forever. There are others whom we find amiable and goes on to becoming the best buddies in life. Some are unpredictable; even if we try hard to understand and appreciate, they never reach the caliber of our conscience to be close or be causal, it demands cautiousness and distance. Some are just never compatible with our taste which is sad.

And there are some, who go on to bragging themselves about how much they DID (rather than DOING), how they were treated those olden days and how fortunate we (the present generations) are in our times. What does this matter any way to us? It is completely a different timeline! Does this mean they have all the rights to treat us the same way they were treated decades ago? Who cares about all these brags? Yes it is music when shared for the first time. Second time and after, it becomes noise! The world and people are constantly changing and perhaps these people are little aware of it.

Some incidents (of life) are indelible and remain with us forever. It is either the best or the worst. It makes us question and ponder as to what really and why that very incident happened? How do you react when you are reprimanded, and embarrassed in front of a huge crowd for some mistakes you did not commit and which is also very much mend-able? It was a moment like I just might launch F-I-R for me if there was any. Anyway who doesn’t make mistake in life? Who is perfect? Do we have no have erasers and do we not deserve second chance? Just because there is limited time or it is getting delayed doesn’t mean we compromise the work. There are people who do nothing and lead with mere service of lips. When you reprimand someone else does it not reflect the very nature of what you are? Does it not back fire the embarrassment and the hurt you have spelled upon the other? Is it professional ultimately?

That brings to how one chooses profession/career in life; certainly one that pays you handsomely (perhaps the first choice for most), the one that is respectable and one that we like/love, but sadly not all of these are present in one particular career. Some careers pays you well where working environment is horrible, some are highly respected and often these are not reachable. Most of us therefore end up with a career which is short of one of these and certainly with what we get, what fate has decided for us with. We end up sacrificing something for want of something else and I have been thinking like did I even make the right choice of career? It is sad, when you have to live and work where incidents that pulls you down and de-motivate are more than what you can be inspired from. Even sadder is when you are treated like some primary school kid, as if we are their very pie, as if the other is nothing. Any hierarchical organization is pyramidal in shape, there is one ultimate boss and subordinates till the base under him. This is certainly the most stable and strongest. Sadly there is the opposite hierarchical shape- tree/umbrella-shaped which has more bosses and less subordinates. The stability of such is very much unpredictable. There are more chaos, disorder and conflicts; there is ego, self-centeredness and all kind of blame games.

And if you are not prepared mentally, it really is hard. But I rather hope to learn more from such incidents for it is from the harsh and challenging situations that you learn most although incident such as this will remain with me. Till than until next time.