Yesterday I was but a little kid, wondering here
and there knowing not where I was going, knowing not what is really in store
for me; life took its own turns and brought me to this very stage, I am a young
adult now, pursuing and chasing my dreams, not knowing if it is even achievable
but the mind insists and seeing others are at the end point, I also joins the
bandwagon. The profession we chose often changes us; it energizes us, make us
smile. It make us fill with ego at times and sometimes it takes us down into dungeon
of hopelessness, but still life goes on. I like to think that I am a good
rationale man but what wonders me often is am I on the right track? Did I miss
something as a little kid and am I missing something even as a rationale human
being? Am I doing enough preparation for things yet to happen? I don’t know. There
are more questions than answers. And tomorrow perhaps I will be an old wrinkled
man or will I even thrive today? Will I be become a dad sometime and then
grandfather? What is in store for me from here? Can I change and control? Will it
be easy and will I have the energy and determination then? Or am I tired now
only? The list goes on and I am rather left in the wilderness wondering.
Just a few days back, a relative of my friend
left his soul eternally at National Referral Hospital Thimphu. I also saw him
once just a week ago who looked very alive and jolly. Although he was an avid
drinker, he still he looked strong and nice physically. He was full of smiles
and would go on well with almost everyone who came across him. You see life is
really uncertain. Who would have ever thought that his archery match last week
was his last? That the last bottle of drink he took was to take his life? And sadly
we are fearless about the death, about the impermanence until we hear or
witness someone actually going through. Today also on my way to work, there was
this temporary shed built just in front of our office and some people gathered
for someone’s soul has left its body forever. That made me think so much about this
life and how sadly we are tethered and swayed by all the ills (which to our
mind is but luxuries) of the life. How much will this realization last with me?
I wish I can think about this so often. Do you think about death and uncertainties
often?
