Yesterday I was but a little kid, wondering here and there knowing not where I was going, knowing not what is really in store for me; life took its own turns and brought me to this very stage, I am a young adult now, pursuing and chasing my dreams, not knowing if it is even achievable but the mind insists and seeing others are at the end point, I also joins the bandwagon. The profession we chose often changes us; it energizes us, make us smile. It make us fill with ego at times and sometimes it takes us down into dungeon of hopelessness, but still life goes on. I like to think that I am a good rationale man but what wonders me often is am I on the right track? Did I miss something as a little kid and am I missing something even as a rationale human being? Am I doing enough preparation for things yet to happen? I don’t know. There are more questions than answers. And tomorrow perhaps I will be an old wrinkled man or will I even thrive today? Will I be become a dad sometime and then grandfather? What is in store for me from here? Can I change and control? Will it be easy and will I have the energy and determination then? Or am I tired now only? The list goes on and I am rather left in the wilderness wondering.
Just a few days back, a relative of my friend left his soul eternally at National Referral Hospital Thimphu. I also saw him once just a week ago who looked very alive and jolly. Although he was an avid drinker, he still he looked strong and nice physically. He was full of smiles and would go on well with almost everyone who came across him. You see life is really uncertain. Who would have ever thought that his archery match last week was his last? That the last bottle of drink he took was to take his life? And sadly we are fearless about the death, about the impermanence until we hear or witness someone actually going through. Today also on my way to work, there was this temporary shed built just in front of our office and some people gathered for someone’s soul has left its body forever. That made me think so much about this life and how sadly we are tethered and swayed by all the ills (which to our mind is but luxuries) of the life. How much will this realization last with me? I wish I can think about this so often. Do you think about death and uncertainties often?