The other night was different one. For no obvious reasons I was frustrated, I was sad and I was filled with rage all over my veins. It was unusual. Lots of uncontrollable thoughtwere running and swirling my brain. I switched on the television screen to divert and calm my mind, flipped channels after channels only to aggravate my situation. There wasn’t channel that could take away that devil inside playing and messing with my mind. The news channels were all about recent Brexit which has been the headline and breaking news since week back full of politics. The Hindi channels were filled with advertisements as usual which is 90 percent but lie and exaggeration. I decided to open my ibook in my mobile and continue the book I have been reading lately and that wasn’t the savior either. Then I opened the candy crush game which is my perfect time pass usually.But yesterday it wasn’t. The repetitive attempt and failure to go to the next level just added yet another load of frustration and made me even more impatient and irritated. Just then I received a call. It was my girlfriend. The following is the conversation roughly.
“Hello dear, how are you? How was your day?” said she.
“Yes, I am fine and it was good” I said.
“You seem different and unusual today, tell me what happened?”
“Nothing; why do you even bother?” I replied. It was bit harsh I realized.
“Why do you have to be that rude?I just wanted to know”
“What do you care anyway other than your career? Do you even think about ‘US’ sometime? Don’t demand just because you are calling me. I was boiling inside and the words seem very easy to come out of my mouth without even realizing what I was intending to say.
“What did I do wrong? Are you mad? From where are those words coming?”
“Yes I am mad, what is so special about us being in relationship? It seems to me that what we have is just for the sake and I am actually fed up! Do you even for a moment thought about life ahead? How will you because we are too busy with our own life.”
“That’s not fair dear”
I was so much into the conversation that I didn’t realized what I was saying until I heard she was actually sobbing at the other end. By the time I realized, she had already cut off the call and I was talking out loud myself to my mobile phone. But then just like some miracle I was also feeling so light and refreshed after that very moment,I began to rewind back as to what I said just a while ago. I tried to remember hard the exact words I said to her. I finally realized that I was literally shouting and barking at her for no reason. What did I do? How did I become devil suddenly? I was hesitant to call her back. I decided to leave here message instead:
“Dear, I am sorry for being asshole. I take all my words back. Please don’t mind. You know lately I have been thinking a lot from my profession to yours, the near to impossible ladder we ought to climb, our relationship, family and siblings. I have been under lot of pressure and that has bogged my mind with lot of weights and it really is frustrating you know. I don’t even know myself as to what I have been thinking. The frustrations I have with in life is suddenly been diverted and you have become that unfortunate victim. I am sorry.And you know the long distance relationship actually sucks. And realizing this even sucks more. It pains me to know that nothing in life is without cost and compromises. But the bottom line is that no matter what, I am just me, that same innocent guy who you met five years back and I would just not change for some silly reasons like this.
With loads of love”
After waiting for some time eagerly, I finally got the reply:
“It is alright dear, I understand, but please don’t ever ask me how hard it is to be in long distance relationship, I know enough. Love you too”
Well, life is certainly uncertain. Sometimes the monster inside us rises and dominates us while at other time the saint inside overthrows it and a lot of good thing happens. Yet life goes on. Living alone actually sucks you know. Despite all that freedom and room to yourself you still feel something is missing. And this is the very plight of single man. Your mind becomes devils workshop at times although the good thing on the other hand is that you get to experience all the weird things that you missed in life..:P