Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Marriage

Marriage is an important stage in one’s life. It determines not just the point where one is matured enough to take care of him/herself, but also make a living of his/her own. If we consider the life as geography, then marriage is an equator where one climbs from the bottom Antarctic pole to northern arctic pole. It is an important episode of one’s life, where one finds another soul to depend up on to sail through thick and thins of life, to celebrate every bit of good moments and tackle together every bit of hard and difficult times. For parents, the marriage for their son or daughter is a happy time for it means they are aged enough to resign from the busy life and witness and relax.
However not every marriage is successful in life. The happiest moments are short lived, the oath and promises that are kept in that very moment of every-thing-is- perfect gets broken and eventually the force of hard times and problem takes over and divides you apart; suddenly the good moments vanishes in the thin air. What is perfect in life anyway? I have long wanted to write about this; about how suddenly the life of an individual seems to change after so-called marriage. Well, I may be wrong and one-sided, but these are what I have noticed; People suddenly seem to become self-centered and narrow on everything; the way you see your life, friends, relatives and even your own parents. And did you notice that in life most of the parents prefer daughter over son to stay with? The reason is obvious, the daughters know how to show love, they have this natural trick of attraction, it is mostly the women who are head at home, she manages everything at home and deals with the matters inside the house and hence parents are comfortable with their daughters instead of a son. And to me this notion is where the problems starts. Most of the parents feel sidelined and burden to their children once they have their own children (grand children)
And one that wonders me is why a daughter in-law can’t show equal love to her in-law parents as she does to her own parents? Why can’t she treat same irrespective of hers or others? It’s not a blame game here, but just that whenever we hear or see about such stories; it is mostly about the bride doing that or this. Did you hear of an incident where husband is rude and is treating his wife’s parents or siblings so coldly? Well, very rarely! Of course there are some bride who are so very good irrespective of their or others. But frankly and unfortunately up till now I have only heard and knew of stories where the bride isn’t being good to groom’s people.
Just recently I got call from a cousin who talked sympathetically and was almost to tears in phone. I felt pity and even annoyed after hearing his part of history.  He has met an accident and is left almost paralyzed (he can’t walk for his half of body is smashed by accident). He was driver by profession and after accident, he started to lose everything, even his own brother (on ear to his wife) whom he supported with sweats during the school times started to shun him. His brother’s wife started to show her real color after a month of their stay together during his treatment until recently when he started to leave them back to home. Is this really the price for a happily-ever-after kind of marriage?
And my fear is what if I also meet something like this and become victim? What if I can’t live up to the expectations parents just because I am married? What if marriage change me into different one? This is something I have been thinking seriously but I wish to write my own story later in my life; a story that is not just readable but pleasing as well.