Thursday, 25 April 2013

Rukhsat 2K13 and Random Thoughts

It was just 11:30 PM (IST), I was reminiscing my day which was Rukhsat 2K13 (farewell for 2013 batch students of the college) looking at the pictures that were taken, my eyes were drooping, perhaps because I did not take nap during the day which I usually do for a while. I shut down my laptop and went to bed, but again I was taken aback to the moments of memories, the sleep got lost! So I was there lying on the bed like a lonely log in the middle of forest, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling, my mind racing with emotions and sentiments. I looked back about the college life, how it started, how it was about to end now and which part I was going to miss a lot. I have always been impatient as to when this will end, because I needed to do a lot like other friends who in my eyes are doing so good and which I envy, I needed to get a decent job like them and help my parents who has been struggling and still does and educate my siblings, but the time seemed still and that has made me so impatient. But having been able to wait and manage whatever came through up to now I was quite happy and satisfied.
College life is just the pro- beginning (not even beginning!) of everything in life. I reminded myself the last part of director sir’s speech who said at the opening of the function: “As a teacher, our speeches are never ended without advice and I have only two at this moment:
1. Serve your parents well for they are source of everything for you, what you are now is the very product of their hardships, dreams and aspirations.
2. Remember your institution (college) for this is where you start with everything in life.
Best of luck with the professional life ahead” It was short and sweet speech by the director sir. 

Then I look ahead, and all I could see was a shallow mist, an unclear clouded path, so many boulders to cross over, I realized the cross of one boulder only takes one before another; that the end of one is just the beginning of another set and that I was just at the beginning! A sudden pang of sadness crossed my mind, I felt tired and hopeless. What if I am unable to cross over the next boulder? What if I encounter mishaps along the way? What if I am unable to serve my parents and siblings, whom I owe so much? I thought about life, which we spent more than half of it studying only to start with as a new one. One thought lead to another and the sleep seemed to be gone forever. I tried to ignore, it was hard.  I tried to think about how it felt to wear our national dress in the foreign land  (a proud moment though) and how friends are fancied by the unique dress of Bhutanese. I tried to stop worrying about myself with flux of these feelings which haven’t even come yet.

 “Let me first complete my college life completely with a good result, and then deal with whatever comes” I consoled myself and took a notebook of notes written in some lecture class, read for a while until I was able to bring back the vanished sleep.