An unwelcomed feelings!

It is just the beginning of a journey to a mysterious and unknown road. Now only I am beginning to feel alone and unsafe. Loneliness, impatient and un-satisfaction is my constant companion. I miss my dad and mom back at village. So many questions crosses my mind as to when does I get my own home? When do I get job? When do I stop thinking about all these insecurities and complications?  When do I become independent-to stand on my own feet?  There still awaits dozens of months at least. How I will survive, I just wonder. I feel uneasy to walk the streets of Thimphu with head held high. For people like me, hailing from the remote part of the country, completing study is one big challenge, another bigger challenge is after you complete your studies and before you get job. Having to stay at other’s home, while fulfilling necessary obligations; having to live every moment of life as a pendulum that swings to and fro with so many questions, so many insecurities and so many guilt’s; having to worry about how long it will be like this is even more torturing.

Life is full of compromises and we ought to be satisfied and abide by the very its very rules and regulations for we have little options. People say we do have choices for everything in life, yet some things in life are beyond the reach of our hand. We are left with but the blames and liabilities to our own brows. The black and white on the sheet of paper and the lip services we hear from various sources are far from the truth when it comes to the reality. Not every individual is fortunate enough to enjoy the same rhythm as one; not everyone is tuned to the same tone. Each has one’s own taste of music and own share of puzzle that entails one’s own thumb. Life is not always defined by what we aspire or what we dream of; there are so many twists and turns, so many shadows, created by the presence of light.

But still, no matter how much disgraced we are in the evening, with every rising sun in the morning, we all wake up with hopes once again rejuvenated, with wishes and actions once again on the track for better later and ahead. This is such a big cycle that continues and repeats with each tick of the clock. For an idle man like me; such is the only fate for now; I try to inculcate and use it to the fullest; to hope against hope; finding some hole of a pane even in the midst of shadows and trying hard to thrive against stronger forces.

 

Seeing the future from the present

What should I write on my blog? I keep wondering. I open the dashboard of my blog and see the page filled with new updates from the blogs I follow; I click it in new tab and read one by one. That’s the very normal thing I do every time I open my Laptop.  It is where I get know and flow with the others, Blogging (for me) is more about reading others than about  my own writings, although I try to scribble rubbish out of my rubbish feelings and expressions. It is really an exciting journey.

Most would agree that generally all bloggers are so active during their life as a student. After that, for some reasons I feel people get diverted and filtered with the priorities of life- either job or family. The number of updates declines, yet there are some serious bloggers who, despite their job and family keep their blog alive with even more exciting and important information.  With my college life nearing end, I don’t know if I will have that same ample of time, although I would very much like to see myself in the same line.

It was almost 3:00 Am (IST) today and I was still awake! I was covering up the past week’s updates which I missed for I had exams. And that was when I also realized the very irony of every student’s life- that it is only during the exam times that we easily get dozed off- so early. It is also during the exams times when we are dragged into long conversations (gossip) out of a silly and perhaps a worthless topic. Just the opposite happens right after the exam days are over! No matter how much you think and try to take rest or maybe sleep, you simply can’t! The brain seems to become hyperactive then, you want to do crazy things, like may be a drink or movie or something else. That’s something we can really escape (at least it was for me). Do you experience the same thing?

But with such times drawing end, I often wonder as to what my life will be from now? Just last year it was at this very place, very time  when we had so much fun  as friend with my seniors and now they are all settled in different places. They are busy now; they have entered the real arena of life’s battle, some even started their own family, happily married! And now it seems my turn has come. I remember a friend, who said during our leisure conversation: “As a child we share our plates with our siblings, as a student, we share our plates with best buddies, and after the college, it is time to share plates with our partners” Really? I don’t think it’s even time for me to think of it and I am also not ready yet.

People say the real taste of the life begins just after the college. I still don’t know what kind of path is waiting for me. And that’s when I often get tensed and scared. But still I would like to do my best and see for myself. Wish me luck my friends!..... :-)

A STUDENT TO HIS TEACHER

Try to be a human being not just a teaching machine

Do not touch only subject, but rather teach us students

Let me feel that you are interested in me as a human being not just a number in your note book

Do not judge me by the marks I get in my test, but rather by the effort I make

Do not expect me to think of school as the greatest pleasure in life

They are not at least for me

Do not expect me to prefer the subject you teach

Other subjects may be interested to me, and perhaps even more so, at least for me

Help me to learn, to think and to judge for myself, not just memorize readymade answers

Help me rather to find the answer myself, through this way may be more painful for both of us

Listen to the questions I may seriously ask, however foolish they may sound to you

If you listen, I might learn to listen to you

Be strict with me, provided you are just. I know that I need it; through outwardly I may rebel against it

Do not ridicule me, especially not before my classmate. It hurts, and I will turn against you

Earnest but kind words in private will be more effective

Do not pity me, especially in front of others, if I do not success so well

Pity can be so embarrassing

Do not point out another student as an example to me

I might hate him….and you….for it

And if I happen to do well, don’t point me as an example to others. It would embarrass me very much. But an occasional deserved word of acknowledgement is most welcome.

Keep your personal problem and political ideas to yourself

I cannot solve to judge them anyway

Remember that once upon a time you were a student yourself

Did you always get the best marks?

And did you never forget a thing?

Please, keep studying yourself; and do not mechanically use in the class the same yellowed notes which you wrote 20 years ago

Do not expect a word of thanks too often

I am grateful; I find is difficult to express my gratitude in words

And so…. Thank you ever so much!

                           

                                                              Ministry of Education- International Year of Child (1979)

  

P.S: The poem was shared by my brother, a teacher himself when I was in XII standard; it is direct copy-paste just to share with blogger friends and as a dedication to my entire beloved teachers. The poem says it all. Happy Teachers day!

Unforgettable Incident

It seems I am writing too much about my college life lately and I am sorry if it has become a monotonous and a usual one for those of you who read my blog. But these are some of the most exciting moments I would like remember and cherish now and later in my life. We create so many memories in our life for every moment is but a memory. Some gets forever printed in our hearts and minds, some just remain for time being, some triggers tears in our eyes and makes us emotional, some brings smile and laughter the moment we think about it and there are others which disappoints and make us cold, in fact these are what complete the very spices of so-called life (to me at least!)

Well, this time I have a mixture of all these; the even semester of 2013 (my last semester) ended formally on 26^th April with the last class and surprisingly it wasn’t over for me and my class mates! The HOD (head of department) called all the students in conference hall on Thursday; because maximum of my friends were short of attendance (75%) in one of the subjects, we were made to attend the class during the weekends, i.e. yesterday and today as a punishment. It was divided into slot1 to slot6. Slot1s were to attend 2hours lecture and two hours practical class. Slot2s were to attend two hours lecture and four hours practical class. My name was in slot3 which means I had to attend eight longs hours of classes (2hours lecture and 6 hours practical classes!). I was shocked to know about it because I attended pretty good number of classes, and at the very last moment I am equivalent to those who attended just a single digit number of class in whole semester and this was certainly unfair and frustrating in the final days of the college and that too after the normal classes was formally over, but was left with no other options.

So I attended the monotonous two hours of lecture class (from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM), the subject teacher also seemed frustrated and upset (perhaps he had wonderful plan for weekend!) for it indicated the very ineffectiveness of himself as teacher. Then from 2:00PM to 6:00PM I had the practical class. Unfortunately everyone was late by about fifteen minutes which infuriated the madam (another teacher who had to follow orders of boss) and she extended the duration from 2:30 to 6:30 PM, which was another blow to us!

I tried to utilize the four hours time wisely. It was after the tiring practical class that a funny thing happened. Everyone is required to keep their slippers or Shoe outside the door on the rack to go inside the Lab. I kept my slipper on the second row rack and when I returned back, it was gone. May be some body mistakenly took as their, but there wasn't even one left on the rack! Well, it’s completely fine to lost a few hundred’s slipper,(it was normal Kitu slipper) what felt uneasy and weird was to walk barefoot from the college to hostel, I walked barefoot for a while and felt good in fact. I immediately remembered one of my uncle back at home who never used shoe or slipper since he was born and can walk anywhere; through the cold ice or over the thorny bushes at worst. Some of my friends were making fun, some were pity I guess but I was completely fine. I was happy and ready to walk all the way to hostel, but a  friend mine asked a biker to give me lift till hostel premise.

Back at room the incident kept me thinking about so many things, I asked if I did anything wrong to upset someone or if I have hurt someone to earn hatred. well, I certainly don't remember anything as such. Anyway I may forget other but yesterday’s incident will be an exception for sure.

Rukhsat 2K13 and Random Thoughts

It was just 11:30 PM (IST), I was reminiscing my day which was Rukhsat 2K13 (farewell for 2013 batch students of the college) looking at the pictures that were taken, my eyes were drooping, perhaps because I did not take nap during the day which I usually do for a while. I shut down my laptop and went to bed, but again I was taken aback to the moments of memories, the sleep got lost! So I was there lying on the bed like a lonely log in the middle of forest, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling, my mind racing with emotions and sentiments. I looked back about the college life, how it started, how it was about to end now and which part I was going to miss a lot. I have always been impatient as to when this will end, because I needed to do a lot like other friends who in my eyes are doing so good and which I envy, I needed to get a decent job like them and help my parents who has been struggling and still does and educate my siblings, but the time seemed still and that has made me so impatient. But having been able to wait and manage whatever came through up to now I was quite happy and satisfied.

.

College life is just the pro- beginning (not even beginning!) of everything in life. I reminded myself the last part of director sir’s speech who said at the opening of the function: “As a teacher, our speeches are never ended without advice and I have only two at this moment:

1. Serve your parents well for they are source of everything for you, what you are now is the very product of their hardships, dreams and aspirations.

2. Remember your institution (college) for this is where you start with everything in life.

Best of luck with the professional life ahead” It was short and sweet speech by the director sir. 

Then I look ahead, and all I could see was a shallow mist, an unclear clouded path, so many boulders to cross over, I realized the cross of one boulder only takes one before another; that the end of one is just the beginning of another set and that I was just at the beginning! A sudden pang of sadness crossed my mind, I felt tired and hopeless. What if I am unable to cross over the next boulder? What if I encounter mishaps along the way? What if I am unable to serve my parents and siblings, whom I owe so much? I thought about life, which we spent more than half of it studying only to start with as a new one. One thought lead to another and the sleep seemed to be gone forever. I tried to ignore, it was hard.  I tried to think about how it felt to wear our national dress in the foreign land  (a proud moment though) and how friends are fancied by the unique dress of Bhutanese. I tried to stop worrying about myself with flux of these feelings which haven’t even come yet.

 “Let me first complete my college life completely with a good result, and then deal with whatever comes” I consoled myself and took a notebook of notes written in some lecture class, read for a while until I was able to bring back the vanished sleep.

My Thoughts on 2nd National Council Election

Bhutan underwent the election of its national council (the upper House of review) members for the second time on 23^rd April 2013(yesterday). By evening, I was very active on twitter where there were quick updates about the result of day’s election. And the result was both interesting and surprising.

Source: BBS

Out of 14 incumbent members who resigned before their first term to re-contest, only six of them got re-elected, which really means that Bhutanese people are matured enough to exercise their own rights and responsibilities; that they had the taste of so-called democracy; that they are silently and constantly watched, judged and scrutinized; that one can hardly rely on the advantage of  incumbency.

The result also shows that it doesn't really matter how much one is qualified or experienced at some particular profession. If you are unable to deliver and live up to the expectations of the public, there isn’t any warranty that such traits will be upheld. This is evident by the loss of contestants like Dr Jagar Dorji of Trongsa and Aum Pema Lhamo of Zhemgang, who were but amongst the least secured votes.

The second election of the national council also has one very interesting fact; the women voter turnout was reported to be more than men, while during the result declaration time, there wasn’t even one woman who got elected! So the second national council will have to go without women candidate and this really contradicts the very vibe of Bhutanese society about empowering women and equalizing gender differences. I even joked about this on twitter: "Perhaps it was the application of the physics law of attraction for unlike charges and repulsion for like charges!"  But on the other hand, this speaks Volume about the citizens making their own choice following their own heart and instinct, as to who really will benefit at the end of day. This is really the talk of equity and justice; it’s important to have equal participation of both gender, but more important is to have participation of equally competent, capable and loyal ones, maybe this time the women contestants were short of these traits in the eyes of the voters.

This election also foretells the very nature as to how the 2^nd election of National Assembly will look like. People might (or might not) have made mistakes in the past, but now it seems it won’t be repeated, they are ready to mend. And this only means a better participation, a better democracy.

With the 2^nd national council elections successfully completed, thanks to election commission of Bhutan, the media, and Voters, hope there will be new and better ideas from the new faces. Congratulations and Trashi Delek to all the elected members.

Day to remember: Thank you guys

Life is unfair says some, but it is not always; we either fail to realize or see for and it’s not always visible or tangible. It was a mere excitement when I first stepped this place. I still feel that innocence. The tiring and sleepless 24hrs train journey from Hashimara to Allahabad Junction on Mahananda express is still vivid and I feel nostalgic! The place was noisy and filthy and I felt bad after suddenly experiencing a stark change of environment.  Its awkward to remember the first time taste of food in Uptron, when Roshan took us under the scorching sun; I almost puke when I saw how the people out there prepare and serve us. The funny thing is now it is the favorite food place for all of us. I also remember the first taste of water (iron taste) at Home restaurant just eight of us that very evening. It was 7^th September 2009.

When I flash back to all those time and after wards, I feel nostalgic and hardly do I remember the bad or sad times. I feel the time has flipped so fast. There was always someone around to talk with, to share the burdens and problems, I never felt lonely or alone. And this is the very simple evidence to show that life out here with you guys was wonderful and awesome!

Bhutanese MNNITians

I don’t know if our batch, four of us has done the justice of being seniors (or friends or whatever) to you all, but still we (I) would like to believe that we have done our best.  Yes there was frictions along the way, I believe that it was all for the good, and that it only means  we all care for each other.

Well, the time we spent together may be just a chapter, the memories we created together will one day remind us all with smiles. The trips we have made together, the fun we had in the playground like small primary kids, the meals we have in the midst of broke and the rendering of helping hand no matter what, says it all and list goes on. I have never realized the real friendship before; yes friendship is more than just being together! It is beyond mere physical contact we make. And frankly speaking, I feel fortunate to have got friends like you all.

Coming to the 13^th April’s day, frankly I have no exact words to describe; it was really unexpected. And I think the day proved and said it all; the bond of friendship we value; the kind of persons we are as an individual and the sense of pride we have for each other. The rule of compulsory performances by every individual was interesting. Perhaps that was the most fair and just opportunity for all of us to showcase the latent talent. The welcome dance by karma and Chenga was the most creative and I really loved and enjoyed fully. Jewan’s hosting was smooth. Yenten’s talk of ground reality without hesitation made me realize one new thing, while Ram’s formality showed the kind of respect we have for each other, Damcho and Kinley’s song took us to the another world of romance! Cheten’s speech reminded us the very important message, the guitarist Jamyang enthralled us all and Sonam’s tear made all sent-y for a while. So all the more it was wholly an adventurous mixture of moments. The day was rather a summary, in fact a very good reminder to all of us.

Thank you all very much for creating a wonderful and memorable chapter in the book of our (my) life.  Life may not favor such times in future; yet, I am sure every one of us will remember the episode of our stay together, and this page is just to remind you all that life with guys were memorable, will be missed and cherished forever.

(PS: Sorry for the delayed Post guys!)