Getting caught by the Virus

It's been more than two long years since the first detect of COVID-19 virus. Bhutan under the magnanimous guidance of his majesty the king and the government have kept it bay, despite several lockdowns; despite at the cost of many like economy in particular but ultimately it was never going to be forever up until the virus gained it's penetration. However the good thing was in two years time, Bhutan was able to administer three doses of vaccines for all eligible even for the children aged 5 which is but a huge achievement in itself.

Since 4th April, the government lifted all the restrictions within the country; in other words living with the virus was kinda concept the government adopted. Since then the cases in the community began to shoot up each day, although deaths due to the virus has been minimal. Since then for anyone to get caught by the virus has become inevitable and too easy which has exactly happened with me. Yes I have caught the virus and I have tested positive for the COVID-19 virus.

I started developing minor symptoms on the evening of 6th April. The initial symptoms were uneasiness at the throat, just like the onset of a common flu. On the same night, I started to have fever and headache and also joint pains. I didn't go for the check on the 7th expecting the symptoms to get severe. As a precaution, since 6th April, I also started isolating myself at home; inside the bedroom from other family members as well for I got an unvaccinated four years boy and a diabetic patient mother in-law at home. I had to be extra cautious. Since then it's have been so far so good. The virus hasn't penetrated among other family members as yet.

I decided to get tested on the 8th as I had symptoms and also I didn't want the risk of spreading the virus to other innocent people. As expected, I was positive and the clinical team at the testing center advised me the do and don'ts for the next one week. They also handed me vitamin c, paracetamol tablets and a paper with the guidelines of do and don'ts.

The onset symptoms were exactly like the common flu, a mild one at the beginning followed by fever and headache which was harsh to me personally. I couldn't even sleep on the first night due to fever and headache. The next day, the fever and headache subsided and then coughing began to surface. My nose got blocked and runny nose also set in. Fortunately I didn't lose the appetite. As the medical professional's advice is to take lots of fluids and vitamin C rich vegetables and fruits, I started resorting to that and it's been quite fine for now.

The larger picture that all people, especially the majority of Bhutanese seem to care less is the notion that the virus is equivalent to and no more than just the common flu. My personal experience has taught me that it isn't. I don't really know for how long the so-called long COVID effects will last. I can feel the weakness and it isn't normal at all. Our body made up of four elements is real fragile! It is never to be taken lightly; I don't know how the virus caught me. I was always masked in the office, carried sanitizer in the car and in the uniform jacket pocket and also washed hands frequently, being mindful not to tough my face. Yet despite all this precautions and protocols, I nevertheless caught the virus. Therefore what I personally feel is perhaps particular immunity also determines how easily one catches the virus. My friends whom I have contacted still haven't developed symptoms yet. It was on 5th April, when a colleague of mine was tested positive with whom we are frequently engaged with due to nature of work. I was thinking myself that if he is positive, the next would surely be me and I wonder if the psychological strength also plays a role here in getting the virus. This is just my wild opinion.

Anyways the toughest challenge for me was to keep the virus to myself and not at all give to other members of the family. My four year son also understood despite at such a tender age, but I felt terrible for abandoning him when he needed as his mother is also away just when I was tested positive. Nevertheless I am hoping to come over trumphiant despite all these setbacks.

My only message is take good care of yourself because it's something that's totally under your control. It's always better to not get contacted for there are many invisible prices we pray after we are caught. Prevention surely is better than cure!!

Take care!

Lockdown for how long and how effective is it?

Bhutan went under lockdown  yet again due to Omicron on the 16th January 2022. First 72 hours were announced as the blackout whereby the government was said to be assessing the spread of the virus; of the community transmission at low risk area wangduephodrang, Riruchu.

Since then the 72 hours blackout was turned to lockdown for a week and which again got extended to the two weeks( till 31st January). I don't know how effective the lockdown is and for how long it will go on as the strange thing is that despite complete lockdown, we continue to get increasing number of affected ones in each places and also in places like thimphu where the community spread was detected only after a week of lockdown. What does this indicate? Now Paro dzongkhag which is yellow zone as designated by the government is also on high alert after a driver, the primary contact of the affected one at chukka has been detected positive. I am sure the lockdown is here to stay; but for how long? Is it the only solution? There are more questions than answers! Usually with the lockdown in effect, should the number of positive cases be not decreasing? 

However on our parts, as a law abiding citizen, it's not important to answer those questions, what we must do is abide by the government directives for we fully trust in the wisdom of the government. We ought to follow the protocols put in place by the government and think what we can do to help the government so we can all get through this havoc. But then again the question is for how long? Hard times like this okie for those getting salary at the end of each month, but what about those who depend upon the daily wages? What about those laid off by the companies? Is the lockdown only solution? Perhaps it's time to live with it, the new normal? The questions go on...

Whatsoever, let's be patient and cooperate with the government; for together we can and I am sure there is light at the end of this tunnel. Although there are more questions than answers, what we definitely require for now is to fight against this invisible virus together.

With this I would also like to thank the frontliners who are working day in and day out to keep others like is safe and sound, while they beat the sleepless  chilly winter nights. Thank you health professionals for your tireless effort in combating this virus and. Thank you everyone!  May this pandemic end soon! 

Being part of Aviation Family

It has been more than five years now being part of an aviation family. There are many things to talk about, appreciate and celebrate about. There are also some rough and sad memories which has often led me question the very decision and choice I made to be part of this family, this organization in the first place. But that’s not what I am gonna write about.

The biggest perk of working in an airport is that you get to witness a lot of things. Airport is a big gateway to different worlds. We see all the kinds of people. It’s heartening to see people with warm smile as they step out of the aircraft door to breathe in the fresh and clean air of our country and enjoy the scenic beauty of Paro. The beautiful portrait of His majesty the king, queen and the Gyalsey at the front of Arrival terminal adds another charm. The portrait depicts the very glimpse of how peaceful, harmonious and happy as a society we exist, how we are guided by the principle of gross national happiness, although Bhutan is a tiny country sandwiched between the two giants. The occasional opportunity that we get to seek the blessings from many Rinpoches travelling to and fro is yet another perk to be proud of. Of course it’s sometimes sad and heartbreaking to witness sick and old on the stretcher on board. While some come back fully recovered with smiles unfortunately others comes as a mere cargo in the coffin back to the country. 

The most remarkable moment was the opportunity to see his majesty the great fourth in person. How unfortunate that I have only seen the great fourth in television and in kupars till now. I feel blessed, fortunate and happy. His majesty doesn’t walk on the red carpet, looks so humble yet powerful and majestic. We are indeed fortunate to be born in the land of drukyul under the dynamic and farsighted leaderships of Wangchuk dynasty.  We all know how much his majesty the great fourth has done for Bhutan and Bhutanese people. We are forever grateful and the best service that we can do in return is to be true to ourself bounded by lay jumdrey and tha damtsi. We don’t have to do extraordinary thing. Simple and basic things done with full conviction and dedication is all that is required. May your majest live long for eons. 

Moments like this gives us that extra energy to keep going, keep doing what’s best for not just yourself, but others as well. It provides us that extra push needed to propel through the usual drags that this life has to offer. It doesn’t deter or matters little even if it’s waking up as early as 0300 am or working late till mid night. It makes you you feel proud instead. Such is the power of good and encouraging moments in one’s life. We don’t need grand favors to be pro active in life, we only need small ones but genuine and real. But this real life ain’t something that works on one’s whims and wishes. The real life is sometimes strange and sometimes an unsolved mystery and we gotta understand it. 

Mother’s Day Special

My mother like other isn’t educated but she has the most wholesome education that anyone could have. My mother isn’t rich like others but she has richest heart, willing to give anything she has. She is not one among those fortunate ones to go school and get education. She would have wanted to study and be someone on her life, but the fate has something else in store. Her father passed away when she wasn’t even ten years old. Imagine growing up under the hands of a single parent? Keep aside the education, she have had tough  time even to arrange a day’s meal.  But this disadvantage has only made her stronger I believe. She never confide us the story about the tragic loss of our grand father. We would silently enquire father others about it; perhaps she knew the pain and that it was best to remain with herself. Perhaps her biggest fault was not to share the pain with us.

Despite these odds, she stood firm and today she is a proud mom of five of us siblings. Despite being illiterate, she has never failed to give me (us) the advices that are essential in our life, she has never failed to impart the important values of cause and effect ( ལས་རྒྱུ་འབྲས) and loyalty (ཐ་དམ་ཚིག), the importance of being honest and true to yourself and to others, the importance of being friendly and polite, in other words the education that are more important than that we get books. I am forever grateful.

I still wonder like what my mom would be had she the opportunity to study? Her plight for education hasn’t died even after 60 years of age. Her interest and enthusiasm to learn to read and write at least in Dzongkha is still afresh and burning. That’s why last year she decided to get enrolled herself to NFE ( non-formal education) despite the works back at village, so that at least she can do morning and evening prayers. For  now she is doing pretty fine. What can I ask more than this? I feel proud and happy to see my mom reading and writing whom she thought once was impossible for her thanks to NFE programme under ministry of education. 

There is one moment that I still remember to this day also although it’s bit unclear. I only remember the crying part for not being able to admit to school. It was perhaps when I was 6 years of age, when my mom took me For class PP admission. I was considered too young to be enrolled for the school and the principal denied my admission. My mom and her cousin  sister who also took her son was also rejected. They jointly threatened the principal (I don’t know how) that they will leave two of us at the school and then we both got admitted that year. That was the mother’s magic moment. Anyway, I don’t know if this was the reason that we both got enrolled to the school or  there was others. Had she not against the decision of school authority, I wonder where I would be now? I wonder if she would have  bothered to seek admission the next year (I know she would have).

 So thank you mom for all you did and are still doing.Thank you fir all your fervent prayers and wishes. Thank you thank you. (Thanks to dad also by the way ....:p ) 

Becoming Parent

I am going to start with this: ‘It is NOT easy to be a parent’. It is not a piece of cake for girls to become a parent (it is at the least Ok for husband); you only know the fact and realize when you are walking here and there through the alleys of hospital.  Salute to all the mothers and girls, who have brought in beautiful souls to this beautiful world with so much pain and hardships.

On the other hand, it is always a bundle of joy to be parent, the amount of happiness it brings with far exceeds the petty burdens it comes with. Every new day, seeing your kid grow up makes you smile, it keeps you at bay from the stress of a day’s work. By the way kids today grow so fast! It is nice to learn a lot of new things; we do learn a lot after becoming parent. It is a transition period where you suddenly steps from a carefree land into the one full of responsibilities, duties and care. There is this sudden change of priorities and perception. You become lot more matured and know-everything, careful and alert. You get to check a lot of things for yourself, change for the good of yourself and that little soul if need be, because once you become parent, you are everything to that little soul who looks upon and it hardly matters if that soul is just a month old or so. It is beautiful and wonderful experience.

But it isn’t easy as I told; firstly to accept and adapt (for first timers) the fact that you are now a parent yourself. Just yesterday you were but a carefree and careless kid who never gave a thought about all those responsibilities like upbringing another soul, when you can’t even take care of yourself. Being mindful, showing love or being tender doesn’t come easily. The facts that you have to consider all these make you don’t wanna accept all. But the time heals all and in fact such awareness only makes you a better human if not a better parent.

To become parent, it isn’t enough to be ready just physically; you ought to be ready emotionally and be mentally prepared. Financial security is another you gotta think about.  Like a colleague of mine says, in today’s world, deciding to have child is like buying an expensive commodity. And I believe he isn’t wrong after all.

Being Bhutanese and living in Bhutan is another blessing. With free medical services, thanks to successive kings of our country and the government of the day, it’s so very easy for couples to get their babies born. The nurses at the hospital are very courteous, kind, dedicated and helpful.  So thank you. To the nurses, you really are the backbone of a hospital the society at large, so thank you.

To my wife, thank you so much for coming thus far. Thank you for all the sacrifices. You have been a wonderful mother and to our little wonderful soul, welcome to this beautiful world. 

Life and its Surprises

Life is not always a wish fulfilling gem. Anything happens for a reason people say, I don’t know if it’s for any good reason? Life has actually its own course, its own track and ultimately we are just a part of it, merely following its destined path. Although at times coincidences happen and we presume our very plan is on the track and that we solely are responsible for that. I have most often maintained that it’s on our own individual hands to whatever we do or whatever and where ever we are up to, but there is always this silent watcher, a silent controller which seems to keep in track of us every defining moment. Hopefully it’s for the best and that the series of unfolding moments are actually blessings in disguise.  

Our life is actually full of plans, we make lot of plans like which organization to join after the graduation (this is after the adulthood), when to upgrade the qualifications, when to get married and start your own family, even as simple as when to furnish our own home or hang out with friends for movies and parties. But unfortunately not all these get in to our own way. There are so many factors that get in between like social obligations, commitments to parents and siblings, and the change of priorities with the ever changing time and because of these factors, our plans get sidelined and over looked. And there are these accidental events that blind us and sway us away from our focus until we realize that it is too late, until we realize that it was actually a mistake. There is always a thin line between hope and the reality, the expectations and the actual result. We often don’t get what we wish and prayed for. Our rigorous and carefully planned plans don’t go in line with our wish and whims. We either fail in between or the unfathomable force of nature (perhaps the fate?) often takes over the control. I have had dreams and I have plans but I am doubtful as to how far will this go until I realize that it’s already robbed off. Yet I am still optimistic that even if it doesn’t go as planned, it will only make me stronger, happier and make me a better person

Career vs Family

"When will you come to me dear?" Says my wife. It has been months since we met; since we had been together; since we had our last kiss. She begins to sob and I hear her say; I miss you so much. She begins to curse her own life and blames  the above for keeping us apart. I tell her it's okie; that everything happens for good reason.

In life, yes one's career is important, but that doesn't mean it should come at the expense of another thing, so called family. Career and family is something that should go together, in parallel. Because at the end of the day, it isn't just the job that will bring in us all that we need in life nor is it just the family that will ensue a successful life. Without  decent and progressive career where might we get struck? These two are like the two sides of a coin that must come and go together.

Yet not everyone of us are fortunate enough to be blessed with both at hand in life. And it's not an easy battle without much  struggle and combat. It doesn't come easily. We need patience, we need character, we need perseverance and most importantly we need trust!  As someone has rightly said if you want to be strong, try living alone. Perhaps it's worth waiting; perhaps everything is happening for some good reason. Perhaps Every second  that we spend thinking about all the bad things that happen with us, every curse we might spell in due course gets paid eventually for nothing is permanent. Perhaps something good is waiting for us? 

The unusual Night

The other night was different one. For no obvious reasons I was frustrated, I was sad and I was filled with rage all over my veins. It was unusual. Lots of uncontrollable thoughtwere running and swirling my brain. I switched on the television screen to divert and calm my mind, flipped channels after channels only to aggravate my situation.  There wasn’t channel that could take away that devil inside playing and messing with my mind. The news channels were all about recent Brexit which has been the headline and breaking news since week back full of politics. The Hindi channels were filled with advertisements as usual which is 90 percent but lie and exaggeration. I decided to open my ibook in my mobile and continue the book I have been reading lately and that wasn’t the savior either. Then I opened the candy crush game which is my perfect time pass usually.But yesterday it wasn’t. The repetitive attempt and failure to go to the next level just added yet another load of frustration and made me even more impatient and irritated. Just then I received a call. It was my girlfriend. The following is the conversation roughly.

“Hello dear, how are you? How was your day?” said she.

“Yes, I am fine and it was good” I said.

“You seem different and unusual today, tell me what happened?”

“Nothing; why do you even bother?” I replied. It was bit harsh I realized.

“Why do you have to be that rude?I just wanted to know”

“What do you care anyway other than your career? Do you even think about ‘US’ sometime?  Don’t demand just because you are calling me.  I was boiling inside and the words seem very easy to come out of my mouth without even realizing what I was intending to say.

“What did I do wrong? Are you mad? From where are those words coming?”

“Yes I am mad, what is so special about us being in relationship? It seems to me that what we have is just for the sake and I am actually fed up! Do you even for a moment thought about life ahead? How will you because we are too busy with our own life.”

“That’s not fair dear”

I was so much into the conversation that I didn’t  realized what I was saying until I heard she was actually sobbing at the other end. By the time I realized, she had already cut off the call and I was talking out loud myself to my mobile phone. But then just like some miracle I was also feeling so light and refreshed after that very moment,I began to rewind back as to what I said just a while ago.  I tried to remember hard the exact words I said to her. I finally realized that I was literally shouting and barking at her for no reason. What did I do? How did I become devil suddenly?  I was hesitant to call her back. I decided to leave here message instead:

“Dear, I am sorry for being asshole. I take all my words back. Please don’t mind. You know lately I have been thinking a lot from my profession to yours, the near to impossible ladder we ought to climb, our relationship, family and siblings. I have been under lot of pressure and that has bogged my mind with lot of weights and it really is frustrating you know. I don’t even know myself as to what I have been thinking. The frustrations I have with in life is suddenly been diverted and you have become that unfortunate victim. I am sorry.And you know the long distance relationship actually sucks. And realizing this even sucks more. It pains me to know that nothing in life is without cost and compromises. But the bottom line is that no matter what, I am just me, that same innocent guy who you met five years back and I would just not change for some silly reasons like this.

With loads of love”

After waiting for some time eagerly, I finally got the reply:

“It is alright dear, I understand, but please don’t ever ask me how hard it is to be in long distance relationship, I know enough. Love you too”

Well, life is certainly uncertain. Sometimes the monster inside us rises and dominates us while at other time the saint inside overthrows it and a lot of good thing happens. Yet life goes on. Living alone actually sucks you know. Despite all that freedom and room to yourself you still feel something is missing. And this is the very plight of single man. Your mind becomes devils workshop at times although the good thing on the other hand is that you get to experience all the weird things that you missed in life..:P

Mechanics of Love and Relationship

This past week we had Mechanical practical where we had three days of theory classes and three days of rigorous practical. We learned simple but very essential and basics of what we will do as a maintenance personnel down the lane of our life. The week taught us how to make rigid and flexible hoses used in aircrafts, although not often used in today’s time where components come ready made from manufacturers, how to maintain and service bearings by means of lubrication, how to safety and lock with locking wires, about nuts, bolts, screws etc which looks plain, but plays very important role. I particularly liked the practical classes for there was so much to learn about doing yourself and getting hand skills. It isn’t just the end result at the end of day, the way you approach, tackle and accept all count.

Anyway the point is yesterday as I was studying for today’s theory exam which disappointed me as a matter of fact for the questions were so simple yet unexpected and very much particular, I had this very weird thoughts. In the middle of revision, I visited twitter to refresh my bogged mind where I found some people writing about love and relationships. That instantly made me link what we have been doing for past week and before and how technically it is same after all. I mean you see maintaining aircraft is almost same as maintaining a good and everlasting relationship if not more risky. Remember if you made mistake maintaining aircraft, you risk the life of hundreds of people onboard while you just risk a life or two in relationships?

Nurturing a good, happy and sustainable relationship isn’t that simple! I don’t know how much relations fail and success, but there sure is hell lot of struggles to make it work, make it last long; after all who starts a relationship with mere aim to destroy and break at the end of day? It needs a good understanding first as to how it functions best, what is not compatible and how do we go about to an everlasting and happily-ever-after kind of relation full of love that is secure and safe?. Well, we ought to maintain so to say! We ought to safety wire and secure it by being loyal, faithful and honest to each other and there are different ways of doing. Some aren’t right and some are just not strong enough to resist the external oscillations and vibrations of temptations. When the initial torque and the fitness of nut’s or bolt’s thread of the knot no longer resists the current of ills and change of circumstances and situations around; even a small cut or kink of suspicion is enough to destroy that bond, that safety and the ultimate result: “catastrophic disaster!” We ought to lubricate regularly with frank and fair communication, be true to yourself and reveal yourself, or the stress and strain of this fast changing world is so easy to drift and swayed away, until you have nothing but constant shouts and fights even over silly reasons. There isn’t best solution or so-called perfect kind of relationship, but to care and maintain is right in our palms and that all boils down to how we look at it and how we act ultimately.

As a practice, we removed the wheels of an aircraft (small training aircraft), removed all the bearings, cleaned and inspected for defeats and faults, re-lubricated and reinstalled which is simple as that, but the main problem is how we overlook and take for granted with these simple things that becomes the most painful at the butt. Things like being passionate about what you are doing and making a habit of thinking twice over something you have done, to check once again or things like that are some fine traits that needs practice and not all of us are good at it. Yes there are prescribed rules and procedures to be followed but eventually it is us an individual as a team that works. We may have silly constraints and hiccups on the way, but we ought to accept the fact and try rectify and move on. At the end we have to trust each other which is the main drive and be sure what you are doing, be certain and be honest otherwise we not only risk ourselves of an untoward accidents and incidents but also disheartening repercussions in times to come. In a way, everything in life is about a maintenance; we just we to know the basic mathematics and techniques of how to do, what to do and why do we do rather than complaining and meeting with abrupt end to our shelf life.

Still than those who are enjoying a healthy and smooth relationships, don’t be too proud for everything has got date of manufacture and service life but for those who are struggling to make it work, be optimistic for there are always redundancies and alternatives to mend and apply.

Take care Folks…..

Story from New Zealand Part II

It is exactly two months today dwelling and studying in foreign land and despite very lovely place at here, I feel homesick, I miss my parents, my colleague, my work and my country; perhaps this shows how attached we are to our country and what we do no matter how bad, how harsh or how terrible it might look.

We have recently shifted our house after staying  in Chinese landlord's home for about a month. There was another Chinese flat mate who was full of complain. No matter how much we tried our best to keep the house clean or keep our noises low in the house, he used to complain and give us lectures. The internet was another thing he blamed about saying that it has become slow after we guys reach from the class in the evening although we were equally paying. Therefore since then we have been searching new apartment which we finally got one. She (our present landlord) is a nice one, as most New Zealanders are generally; the rent and the distance from the institute also a reasonable one although the rent did not include internet connection. we had to arrange our own internet connection which took us about three long weeks and certainly that was a night mare, to lead a life without so-called internet.

Well, the past three week without internet connection has made me realized something about the present generations of ours. It seems we have become too dependent own fast hand technology which are at click's disposal and it seems that without internet, we just can't do anything! I mean we feel like something is missing. Perhaps this is nothing more than an addiction which is sad. Anyway I have tried my best to do something productive and reading was one. And Khaled Hosseini's A thousand spledid suns have been a very good companion and pass time the past few days other than Paulo Coelho's Adultery. With just practical classes during the day at the institute and nothing like homework, it has been yet another plus point to stick into reading.

Just two months at here and I have learned so many things, things which will live with me forever. Apart from the normal classroom teachings, the good news is that I have learned to bicycle although have learned during college days in India, that was just the beginning..:)  W friends even bought each to travel to the institute.  It is an awkward and embarrassing moment when you don't know such simple things of life and especially coming from community where we have rather wooden trucks as toys, even knowing at this age is but a joy. Swimming is another that I have been practicing and trying to refine and for now it is doing well.

Apart from these, I have also met many new people, good new people perhaps the finest ones- teachers, companions and through them it has made me realize that there is so more to life than just eat, shit and live. Yet despite all these, something still seems to miss, there is this invisible, an unbound longing for someone out there. Is this just the homesick or more?

Can you give it back?

“The trust that I entrusted upon you with all my heart; the undying hope which if piled would make up the highest mountain. The precious time I spent with you irrespective of whether I was busy or free; the moments of laughter and smile that I shared with you. The showers of tenderness, understanding and the appreciation I had for every little thing. The compromises, the adjustments and the sacrifices I made just to bring in smile for you. The rain of tears I shed with you and for you in the worst of your times. The happiness and the smile I brought upon your face with me and my presence.”

Can you give it all back? Well, it doesn’t really matter now, just do some homework to know about how much you meant to me and what it means to know that it is all past tense now. Perhaps you will a pinch of realization then or perhaps we were and we are never meant to make a story! No matter what differences, no matter how short the duration, it is something that I will treasure as a gift, it is an episode that will echo once in blue moon and resonate. I am happy that you came to my life although just in blink.  I wish you all the best for the rest of your life.

Life is better singly

While two hands are must to clap make sound, does it not become a noise then if we aren’t careful or mindful? Sometimes I feel it is much better and easier singly. Everything becomes half then- the burdens and tensions, the responsibilities and the areas to worry and mind about. It becomes easy to manage and maneuver. People say life is incomplete without someone to lean and talk to; that we have the space between each fingers so that one day we will have someone who will fill and complete.

Well it may be true that there is someone who can fill that space, but to fill it with a tenderness of excellence, care and by someone who understands and appreciates with all the loving kindness of heart is rare. Because these are not something that comes without compromises and adjustments or side linings;  Such thing doesn’t come out of that vast blue sky, it needs to searched first, search with all head and heart, then nurture with all the affection and care. If we search it in the wrong place, it is a problem, and if we nurture carelessly, then also it becomes a problem.

If two decides to be one but can’t share equally the yoke of burden or any other thing for that matter, life can never be smooth; there is always a room for imbalance and instability. People say Love is blind, while I wonder how one falls in love without even seeing with one’s own heart. Yes life is imperfect but to thrive in the midst of this imperfectness is in our own hand and it is sad that often we are swayed by the mirage of unseen thorns and once we get pricked even by that tiny spike, we complain and nag as if it is the only us who get chosen; as if everything is perfect. But still, ultimately what matters is how we tackle as an individual, how we thrive as an individual in the midst these maze; how we react singly. 

Life is much better this way!

The Paradox

The stars that twinkles and dances merrily in the middle of sky, who have all the time to watch its happiness and sorrow for that matter? The beautiful moon that brightens the unhappy couple and turns them to a lovely and happy one, who even feels lucky and appreciates this fact?  Very rare! Who would have even felt gratified by the gentle shower that drains all the sad and bad emotions and not cursed the summer rain that sometimes gets lippy? Who have all the time to see the beauty of all these wonders? The music that enthralls and soothes ones deranged soul and crippled body, who even cares when all is well and everything, is alright.  Unless we feel alone, lonely and estranged, we have no time acknowledge these small beauties that enriches our life.

The closest neighbor who lives just a step away; did you even greet and exchanged hi and hello? We have ample of time to chat and flirt with strangers on the social networking sites and hardly a second to greet our neighbor whom we share a lot of resembles. We (and them in return) hear all the loud noises from the blasting woofers in the late evenings, we witness their kids play around, hear all the silly and usual fights and the irony is that we are but a complete strangers!

The long gone friends, whom you shared same clothes once, whom you have had same meals from the same plate, Do you, even care to call them and say “hi dude, I missed you, how have you been?” Once you are apart, taking your own path, you get sucked by the silly things and you are drenched in the rain of clumsiness. We seem to get lost in the world of nowhere, which is so sad.

 Perhaps the line says it best which I read somewhere and which isn’t complete:

“We have more houses but less home, more acquaintances but less friends, taller buildings but shorter temper, more degrees but less senses, more knowledge but less judgment, more experts but more problems, we have done  more things but not better things, we stay up too late and get up too tired!”

Is being alone Loneliness?

Is being alone a kind of loneliness? I wonder! Sometimes when the harsh winter weather creeps in from the window and you are all alone in vast room sipping coffee alone, it doesn’t seem to make any sense.  When your kitchen is so silent and there is only the sound of the bubbles from the rice cooker and the frying pan accompanying you, it doesn’t feel to be well at all. When you have to go to bed and the torturous nightmares are only your companion, it doesn’t feel right you know. And again in the early morning when you have to wake up and repeat the whole process of the day, it doesn’t feel completed. Something seems to be missing. So does this mean being alone is but Loneliness?

Life is really a labyrinth you know; it’s hard to understand or tune in and adjust yourself with. When one faces you, there is back of the other; why can’t we have both at the same instant? When you don’t have, you try so hard to have it and when you get it, with time it just becomes a satiated toy which you don’t want to go for it again. And by the time you urge for it again, it is either lost somewhere or the situation is not always favorable. And this leaves you behind wondering with regret if you have even done it right.   Even the music which was your favorite and most pleasing becomes a noise after all with the passing of time; such is the nature of so-called insatiable life.

Mondays and Tuesdays are my off days, and I have just started reading the Autobiography of Dalai Lama which was my perfect time pass. But otherwise I really don’t know how to pass my time. Suggest me some good books friends so as to fill the gap of being alone which I don’t want it to become Loneliness.

Have a good day friends…

Will I ever fall in Love again?

As she scrolls down the News Feed page of Face book on her laptop, Dema comes across a photo of her friend at the intermediate school with her lovely husband married recently in their best attire with Khadars (white scarf) all around their shoulders. “Oh! Perfect matching” envies Dema. She pictures herself into that frame but sees a big shadow, she sees the pain instead, a big doubt, because she knows in her own sense that her future is but a bleak. A cold gust of guilt and haplessness runs down her nerves. She tries to forget but the picture provokes her. The more she sees it, the more she becomes edgy and sad. “Why is there impartiality in love? Why can’t we have our own choice? Why stereotypical norms and caste system in the society? When we can love why can’t we continue forever?” She wonders.

She enviously presses the Like button below the picture and scrolls down the page. She comes across a status update which says: “Yesterday is but a history, tomorrow a mystery while today is a gift, which is why we call it, the present”. This beams Dema’s face, because the lines reassures and consoles her bitterly wounded heart. It takes away the pain and shallow future she was picturing herself a moment ago. Why should I brood about the future, for it is but uncertain? She then thinks of her past which has been wonderful, (at least) after Arjun came to her life; she is taken back to the good times they shared which they still do (for the moment though).

The first time Dema bumped into him was on her way to the academic hall one afternoon. Then they met in person during the dance practice for the annual cultural festival of the college. Arjun was then in second year while Dema herself was in first year. Arjun was a cool and smart guy. So many college girls were after him. And Dema was one of them. It was love at first sight. He was everything a girl could ever desire and dream of.

Arjun was born and raised to a typical Indian family of caste and creed. The family respects the age old tradition and culture. His father in particular- a prominent and respected figure of the town maintains and strictly expects the family to keep up their name without disruption. He is strongly against the marriage of any of his family member with outside community of theirs. This necessitates Arjun to be abided by the ethics and codes of his own after all it’s a family. As for Dema, the so-called Love has blinded her very priorities and realities. Her family may not be totally against such harsh conditions for ultimately it is her life, yet it all comes  with so many social disgrace and difficulties.

And Love neither has creed or caste, nor distinction of any kind like country, culture or haves and have-nots. Fortunately or unfortunately Arjun also couldn’t resist his feelings for her after a month of dance practice with her. He was overwhelmed by the beauty and simplicity of Dema. He never missed a day for practice that was held daily in the evening after the class. That was how their feelings for each other bloomed with each passing day until they became inseparable. This makes her smile and reminds of how much she finds peace under Arjun’s arm and how a beautiful life can be for two perfectly matched hearts.

It is almost three years now that they have been together. Together they have sailed both good and bad times, together they watched movies, had meals in one plate, went shopping, studied, laughed and even cried together knowing the uncertain and clouded future as one. They can’t imagine the life they will lead after the college life; separated by miles of mountains and valleys knowing not even if they will ever meet once. Sometimes she even wishes if she can stop or amend the tick of time and the typical norms of this real world.

As the days of college knocks the end, Dema can’t think of the future that waits, because she knows in her heart that even if her parents accept, Arjun’s would never. She knows that her time with Arjun will just be a chapter of her life. Therefore she is into living the present trying hard  not to think of the future. Of course she is afraid to accept the realities of life that will unfold; she is ready to face it.

Meanwhile the bottom left bar of the Face book page is popped with several ‘Hi’ and ‘Hellos’, some are her friends and others are strangers; she ignores them all, logs off the Face book and asks herself: “Will I ever fall in Love again?”

The Pledge

Source: Google

Karma is what we can’t change

And by it are we all shaped and made

Remember the first time we met?

Mere luck wasn't how we met

And neither was it a coincidence

Causal walk and talk we made

Heartfelt gossips we shared

Even the funny jokes we crack

Keeps me warm and glued

In fact small things are what matters

In the past, now and ever after

Love I shall with all my heart

Over the time I may fail

Void I shall never create yet

 Enlighten and remind me sometime

You are but a north star

Of all the stars that prevail

United and together we shall unfurl 

(The poem is to commemorate the world poetry day(21^st March), which I knew from blogger friends...:)...)

For You My Dear

Every time I am sad and sorry

You cheer me and make me merry

Every time I fall and lose hope

You lift me with bundles of scope

Every time I get struck on the track

You find me and help me crack

You make my days lighter and healthier

You make me feel more and wealthier

You make me feel loved and cared

Which can never be measured or compared

You complete me and keep me alive

Yes! With you, life is easy to survive

You are what you are- the real you

And that is what I like most about you

Far and separated we maybe this valentine

Definitely we will next and together we will dine

Together we will feel the warmth of the day

Together we will sail this life and find way

The way that will make each day but valentine

For life is too short to brood over the rare shine

      HAPPY VALENTINE DAY!..

The First Date

The mid summer sun was almost into the horizon of the mountain. From the opened window, Dorji could feel the warm and a gentle evening  wind. He nervously got himself dressed-A black jeans and red shirt. He looked at the mirror and said himself: "You can do it; come on! you are matured now". Just at that moment, the Nokia tune of his mobile phone rang. It was his love- Karma inquiring whereabouts him. He replied in attentive voice; 'I am on my way'
'Where are you going Kota (brother) in the evening?' Asked his sister from the other room, where she is weaving kira. Dorji pretended to be normal and causal. 'A high school friend is calling me; I will be back by dusk Ana (sister), it has been for sometime since we met.' Lied Dorji confidently.
With some kind of excitement mixed with nervousness, he walked hurriedly towards the Memorial chorten; the meeting point discussed before in the call. It was first time Dorji is going to meet karma after he expressed how he felt and what she meant to him some six months ago.That was why Dorji was nervous; it was his first date! He doesn't wanted to screw it.

Before college, Dorji and Karma were good friends. They would joke and make fun each other, which neither of them mind. But secretly for Dorji, she was more than just a good friend; he wanted to tell her that, yet he never had the guts, for it was his first experience. Despite the same kinda course after XII standard, they were placed into different college, but Dorji never gave up and, a glass of Vodka one day helped him.
He walked through the pedestrian path, passed kelki high school and reached the chorten. There she was,at the gate of chorten. She looked stunning in her best attire; navy blue jeans with black flats, grayish shirt with a thin blue scarf around the neck. Her hair was tied to the back.
'Hi karma, I am sorry, I made you wait'
'It's OK, I just reached a while ago'
'So, where shall we? Buddha Point?'
'That's fine'
Then a gap of silence followed. Dorji was out of words! His brain seemed empty.That was it! He scanned for words but was useless. Smiling each other and hiding-ly seeing one's face, they passed JDWNRH towards the Dr. Tobgay's school.
'Where do you exactly stay in Thimphu?' asked karma breaking the long silence.
'I stay in RICB colony above the youth center. You stay in Changzamtok right?'
'Yeah, I live with my sister'
This helped Dorji to bring some stuffs to talk like their college days and their experiences, but still he was short of words and most of the time, it was just the silence and smile that accompanied them.
It was Dorji's first visit to Buddha point. He had just seen that magnificent Statue only from the distant place or from the bus while travelling. He began to feel guilty on the way to sacred place, although it was only a plain evening walk like any normal people. But soon he was rather surprised, in fact very much by the scenes along the way. They were both blushed. Every young couples seemed to stare at them. The aged on their evening walk seemed to execrate their walk.
Dorji realized that Kuensel Phodrang (Buddha Point), rather than a sacred place where people pay obeisance and prayers under the very presence of huge statue, it is a popular dating site for lovers. He felt sorry for himself.
After not reaching even the mid way, it was getting dark, Dorji and karma turned back, he reached karma till the Hospital to her house and himself back home uneasy with guilt. He kept asking why did he choose Buddha point after all for his first date?
"Did you meet your friend?"asked his sister, still weaving the kira as Dorji entered the door.
"Yeah, it was a refreshing moment" replied Dorji heavy heartily realizing himself the number of lies he told that evening.

A beer for Fun

A friend of mine from Hyderabad has been insisting me to accompany him to drinks since I told him that as a matter of fact I also drink, of course not too often. It has been so many times that he insisted me to go with him, one was just before the exam, then in weekend in the midst of examinations and my silly excuse was that I shouldn't really screw my exams. I told him:"You know I owe my Government everything for this education and the least I can do is to take a laudable result at the end of day" Every time I declined his request, his response was: "what the F**k man, have fun sometimes" And my immediate reaction was but smile.

But yesterday was different! The day was very hectic as well. Although my semester exams were over, I had some silly but necessary unfinished business like to submit my semester Project report, submit tutorial assignment of one subject and submit the library books. So from the time I woke up in the morning I was like running here and there, the worst of it all was when we had to wait for our project mentor (the director of the college) to lend us his signature. After waiting for about three long hours outside his office, we were summoned to his office and gave us his signature and by that time it was almost dinner time (8:00 PM). I directly walked to the mess, exhausted, there again, something seemed unusual! I couldn't swallow more than four spoons of chowal and Alu sabjee. I was frustrated then, came to the room and started to watch the latest episode of the English series titled 'How I met your mother'

Then out of nowhere came the bang on my rooms door and this: "Hey lets go Beer dude" It was the voice of my friend. For a moment the sentence was very pleasing, perfect and timely, as if I have wanted to hear for ages. I suddenly dragged my coat and and surprised him: "Lets go, get drunk today". He was elated as I was, for it was the first time I accepted his request. We went nearby restaurant cum bar called Mikhana, the favorite party place around the college premises. The bar was almost full, most of the customers were our fellow friends (students). We ordered a bottle of kingfisher each and started drinking till it was closed time! (11 PM). By that time, three of us were up to the mark of being called HIGH. In the midst of drinks, we talked of all those silly stuffs and I tell you it was fun. I even learnt so many new expensive kinda drinks that I would definitely taste in the times to come.

We walked along the highway which was almost empty by then, reached the college and went directly to our respective rooms to sleep. And the strangest and boldest thing I ever did was something which I can't tell. I can't stop laughing myself. You know it was really silly,funny and serious at the same time. If we learn anything out of drinks, it is the revelation of our true nature. We become the 'real us' when we are under the influence of alcohol. As long as we don't cross the limit to the extend of hurting our self, I think life without such small enjoyment and fun only make it more regretful,tiring and exhaustive.

After a hectic and exhaustive day, a bottle of beer really is a saver for the time being, after all life is so short and complex to define and unfold all the mysteries and beauties. Why not experience once in a blue moon in our own way?

It is Eleven PM Now

It is Eleven PM now,
The room is as usual- Silent and Alone
The big old fan is spinning hard to keep away heat
But today it is awkward and uneasy
The sound of fan is disturbing me!
It is all of a sudden a Noise today

My Mobile is dead silent

No Musics, No SMS, no call

May be one  justice after all to the gadget

My laptop isn't shutdown as usual

It has become hot because of heat

Yesterday I felt warm and cozy

But today, I feel cold and crazy

My diary page is still a big blank
And my head filled with things I don't know
I can't frame it into meaningful words
Yesterday, we talked, we laughed and even made vow
we smiled, we murmured and  enjoyed silence
But today, it is gone and  I am missing it all
 
From the time I wrote you in diary of my life
To the time we shared both Laughs and smiles
From the time we fought and hurt each other
To the time we departed with an ugly face (once)
From the time we talked and complained of silence
Till we comprehend and acknowledge the fact
I am reminiscing it all and it cheers me in fact

Eleven PM is precious and special to me
The time I first expressed my Love
The time that defines the love of my life
The time that begins my immense joy and hope
Time that also commence the worst fights and disputes
Time that exposes my strength and weakness
And the time that keeps me agile and active

But it is different today
I am all alone and you are missing
I miss you and I am looking at the clock
The clock seems so slow and sluggish
Yet I am waiting here like that old times
Come fast, I know you will.