Surviving in Thimphu

Thimphu is a beautiful city to live in, it is clean and peaceful. Foreigners called it a “very beautiful village” just because it is a small town despite being the capital city of tiny country. It has evolved from once a thick forest with lush forest into a so-called modern city with concrete buildings all over. The usual chirping of bird is replaced by noisy and busy honks of cars. The serene light of moon at night is replaced by various patterns of modern electric lights. All in all, Thimphu really has changed and it has rather become and expensive one to live.

And to dwell in it and make living isn’t an easy loaf of bread! It may be a small village to foreigners or big-wigs, yet to a common men surviving at Thimphu is hard and difficult. The so-called development has brought in with it so many challenges and hardships. As much as one would love to stay and work at here, for all the facilities, be it health, social or a sense of emotional comfort or business, there is an equal if not more burdens as to how one is able to survive and avail those services. Mind it every blessing comes at price which is often expensive. Perhaps that’s why there are all sorts of juvenile crimes on the rise like theft, robbery and murder. Because when the society and the circumstances demands beyond one’s ability, beyond one can afford, people resort into all kind of crazy acts. And the sad thing is that it’s only going to get worse. The only viable solution is to get used to it.

It hardly matters if you are but a graduate, having a decent job and earning a good income at the end of the month or not, because those services and the landlords doesn’t see if you are earning less or more. They don’t see if you have large number of siblings to look after and take care or not. They don’t see if you are from poor back ground or not.  When half of your pay goes to landlords as a rent; the other ten percent to bills which are countless; what are you gonna to do with the remaining? To feed yourself and family or support your siblings and parents who think you are an officer and that you are earning so much? That is why surviving in Thimphu is tough. That is why it is a make or break situation to live in Thimphu.

I wonder how people manages to smile at the end of day despite all the challenges and hardships they face every day and I realize that perhaps that’s what we Bhutanese really are in general in the core. Despite all the complains and criticisms we still remember the triple gem and pay homage, we still manage to pray and thank ; perhaps that’s the ultimate purpose of life to go on with the flow least bothered by the swaying winds of greed, agony and fear? I finally realize that you don’t need number of buildings and acres of land to thrive. Well then am I content? Have I enough? Perhaps! Because I am surviving!

Until next time, Thank you.

Becoming Parent

I am going to start with this: ‘It is NOT easy to be a parent’. It is not a piece of cake for girls to become a parent (it is at the least Ok for husband); you only know the fact and realize when you are walking here and there through the alleys of hospital.  Salute to all the mothers and girls, who have brought in beautiful souls to this beautiful world with so much pain and hardships.

On the other hand, it is always a bundle of joy to be parent, the amount of happiness it brings with far exceeds the petty burdens it comes with. Every new day, seeing your kid grow up makes you smile, it keeps you at bay from the stress of a day’s work. By the way kids today grow so fast! It is nice to learn a lot of new things; we do learn a lot after becoming parent. It is a transition period where you suddenly steps from a carefree land into the one full of responsibilities, duties and care. There is this sudden change of priorities and perception. You become lot more matured and know-everything, careful and alert. You get to check a lot of things for yourself, change for the good of yourself and that little soul if need be, because once you become parent, you are everything to that little soul who looks upon and it hardly matters if that soul is just a month old or so. It is beautiful and wonderful experience.

But it isn’t easy as I told; firstly to accept and adapt (for first timers) the fact that you are now a parent yourself. Just yesterday you were but a carefree and careless kid who never gave a thought about all those responsibilities like upbringing another soul, when you can’t even take care of yourself. Being mindful, showing love or being tender doesn’t come easily. The facts that you have to consider all these make you don’t wanna accept all. But the time heals all and in fact such awareness only makes you a better human if not a better parent.

To become parent, it isn’t enough to be ready just physically; you ought to be ready emotionally and be mentally prepared. Financial security is another you gotta think about.  Like a colleague of mine says, in today’s world, deciding to have child is like buying an expensive commodity. And I believe he isn’t wrong after all.

Being Bhutanese and living in Bhutan is another blessing. With free medical services, thanks to successive kings of our country and the government of the day, it’s so very easy for couples to get their babies born. The nurses at the hospital are very courteous, kind, dedicated and helpful.  So thank you. To the nurses, you really are the backbone of a hospital the society at large, so thank you.

To my wife, thank you so much for coming thus far. Thank you for all the sacrifices. You have been a wonderful mother and to our little wonderful soul, welcome to this beautiful world. 

Looking at Life

Have you ever thought in life like if only I took the other way, like if only I made different choice or if only I thought twice, if only I can go back etc? I have, many times and it still haunts me sometimes.  We come across many junctures where we have to make decisions, choices and it is not always in our favor. We don’t realize if it is right or wrong at that very moment t. It is with time, where at times you look back, sigh and sometimes wonder with vague questions running through your nerves and spinning around making you dizzy. The more you try to find answer, the more you tend to get questions. As such life goes on.

As young energetic guys (and girls) driven by varied emotions, we tend to easily get trapped into sometimes unwise and junky sticky areas. You see emotions are sensitive and powerful; it can make or break one’s life. There are some very specific areas where I think my emotions have taken over my wisdom to make decisions. Some were taken ad-hoc while others repetitively have engraved me to haste and make some of the worst decisions of my life which I regret terribly. But at the same time I also have something good to cherish, perhaps without those wrong decisions, I wouldn’t be where I stand right now. Perhaps to balance between these two is our prerogative and at our very hand. I don’t think there is anyone who haven’t had both rough and smooth trail.  The point is whether you are driven by sheer emotion or wisdom, we ought to step back once and look forward as to see the clear picture of what lies ahead. Don’t ever haste to make decisions. If you think you are ready get married just because you have a decent job, think also about the baggage it comes with and the consequences after. If you think your current job will make you happy and satisfied, think also about why you can’t fit into another profession. If you thought you could make your parents happy and serve them with all the love and care, think also about why you are not happy in the first place. If you think family and relatives are all you have got, think also about a friend who accompanies you through thick and thin. If you think only bad things are on your way, think also otherwise about when you had that genuine smile on your face.

Life is really a mess if we can’t separate a grain from sand!

13th October- Unforgettable Day

Life is strange you know.  So many things are happening and yet to us, it is the same and as usual. We hardly notice the change and the things that happen around us. Today is an important day for Bhutan and Bhutanese; a day to begin with prayer for long life of our king and queen; a day to celebrate over reminding ourselves that there is always hope with king and queen be side us at any cost.  I wish my king and queen a very happy wedding anniversary. May the land of thunder dragon always shine under your dynamic leadership and guidance!

Unfortunately it was a bad and sad day for me! I nearly escaped deadly accident. I don’t know how many has been lucky enough just like me today at the very same time. Some are just so unfortunate.  Just yesterday before I went to bed, I had this very disturbing news from Perth, Australia about a brother of mine by relation who is studying under government scholarship. There was this very disturbing note by himself on Facebook, a heart breaking confession. I really feel sorry. Compared to his, my incident is nothing. I just can’t imagine what has been going through his very mind after the doctor at the hospital told him that he has brain cancer. I can’t imagine how his single mom is going through right now back at home. The last time I heard about him, I am told he is still missing from his room in the college campus and the police are still searching! Where ever he is I pray that he is safe and sound. Brother, you just can’t give up. Sometimes I just wonder why it is just that only the good people have to be the ultimate victim of such diseases and why bad things often happen to only the good people? He is very good and a loyal son to his mother, a very dedicated student to teachers and a very promising career was awaiting his way. Well, life isn’t fair always you see.

Anyway after today’s incident I have learnt some very basic yet very important lessons.  Often we get lost to find our true self, we get what we give and sometimes we have to literally die as well to born anew. A kind reminder of bad dream and a second of delay or distraction keeps you alive. This shows how fragile our precious life is. An ill luck whatsoever is ought to happen no matter what and one just can’t escape. Yet if you still have a ration left, even a small amount, it takes you to that safe land as far as possible so you still have a day more to see the rise and set of sun, a moment more to reflect upon yourself of the real purpose, a minute more to differentiate who your true friends really are and what and who matters after all. At very critical times even a stranger comes forth with consolations like “Are you alright? It okie, everything is gonna be alright” and there is nothing more soothing and comforting moments in such in situations. No matter how greedy or money-minded one maybe, or broke one is, at times of emergencies and incidents like this, Bhutanese people flocks like sheep over to lend their helping hand and that’s the very essence of being Bhutanese. Humanity does exist you know. Of course there is another group, who just comes in take pictures instead and share in the social Medias but that is a different story which is disgusting actually.  I am very humbled by the show of such kind gestures and I remain indebted. Thank you so very much.

I have only heard before how people actually get affected not by the shock, but by the aftermaths of shock and just today only I have realized how true it is actually. People don’t die because of the actual shock, but because of the effects of shock!  

-13th October Diary, Time: 1030PM

Life and its Surprises

Life is not always a wish fulfilling gem. Anything happens for a reason people say, I don’t know if it’s for any good reason? Life has actually its own course, its own track and ultimately we are just a part of it, merely following its destined path. Although at times coincidences happen and we presume our very plan is on the track and that we solely are responsible for that. I have most often maintained that it’s on our own individual hands to whatever we do or whatever and where ever we are up to, but there is always this silent watcher, a silent controller which seems to keep in track of us every defining moment. Hopefully it’s for the best and that the series of unfolding moments are actually blessings in disguise.  

Our life is actually full of plans, we make lot of plans like which organization to join after the graduation (this is after the adulthood), when to upgrade the qualifications, when to get married and start your own family, even as simple as when to furnish our own home or hang out with friends for movies and parties. But unfortunately not all these get in to our own way. There are so many factors that get in between like social obligations, commitments to parents and siblings, and the change of priorities with the ever changing time and because of these factors, our plans get sidelined and over looked. And there are these accidental events that blind us and sway us away from our focus until we realize that it is too late, until we realize that it was actually a mistake. There is always a thin line between hope and the reality, the expectations and the actual result. We often don’t get what we wish and prayed for. Our rigorous and carefully planned plans don’t go in line with our wish and whims. We either fail in between or the unfathomable force of nature (perhaps the fate?) often takes over the control. I have had dreams and I have plans but I am doubtful as to how far will this go until I realize that it’s already robbed off. Yet I am still optimistic that even if it doesn’t go as planned, it will only make me stronger, happier and make me a better person

Career vs Family

"When will you come to me dear?" Says my wife. It has been months since we met; since we had been together; since we had our last kiss. She begins to sob and I hear her say; I miss you so much. She begins to curse her own life and blames  the above for keeping us apart. I tell her it's okie; that everything happens for good reason.

In life, yes one's career is important, but that doesn't mean it should come at the expense of another thing, so called family. Career and family is something that should go together, in parallel. Because at the end of the day, it isn't just the job that will bring in us all that we need in life nor is it just the family that will ensue a successful life. Without  decent and progressive career where might we get struck? These two are like the two sides of a coin that must come and go together.

Yet not everyone of us are fortunate enough to be blessed with both at hand in life. And it's not an easy battle without much  struggle and combat. It doesn't come easily. We need patience, we need character, we need perseverance and most importantly we need trust!  As someone has rightly said if you want to be strong, try living alone. Perhaps it's worth waiting; perhaps everything is happening for some good reason. Perhaps Every second  that we spend thinking about all the bad things that happen with us, every curse we might spell in due course gets paid eventually for nothing is permanent. Perhaps something good is waiting for us? 

The unusual Night

The other night was different one. For no obvious reasons I was frustrated, I was sad and I was filled with rage all over my veins. It was unusual. Lots of uncontrollable thoughtwere running and swirling my brain. I switched on the television screen to divert and calm my mind, flipped channels after channels only to aggravate my situation.  There wasn’t channel that could take away that devil inside playing and messing with my mind. The news channels were all about recent Brexit which has been the headline and breaking news since week back full of politics. The Hindi channels were filled with advertisements as usual which is 90 percent but lie and exaggeration. I decided to open my ibook in my mobile and continue the book I have been reading lately and that wasn’t the savior either. Then I opened the candy crush game which is my perfect time pass usually.But yesterday it wasn’t. The repetitive attempt and failure to go to the next level just added yet another load of frustration and made me even more impatient and irritated. Just then I received a call. It was my girlfriend. The following is the conversation roughly.

“Hello dear, how are you? How was your day?” said she.

“Yes, I am fine and it was good” I said.

“You seem different and unusual today, tell me what happened?”

“Nothing; why do you even bother?” I replied. It was bit harsh I realized.

“Why do you have to be that rude?I just wanted to know”

“What do you care anyway other than your career? Do you even think about ‘US’ sometime?  Don’t demand just because you are calling me.  I was boiling inside and the words seem very easy to come out of my mouth without even realizing what I was intending to say.

“What did I do wrong? Are you mad? From where are those words coming?”

“Yes I am mad, what is so special about us being in relationship? It seems to me that what we have is just for the sake and I am actually fed up! Do you even for a moment thought about life ahead? How will you because we are too busy with our own life.”

“That’s not fair dear”

I was so much into the conversation that I didn’t  realized what I was saying until I heard she was actually sobbing at the other end. By the time I realized, she had already cut off the call and I was talking out loud myself to my mobile phone. But then just like some miracle I was also feeling so light and refreshed after that very moment,I began to rewind back as to what I said just a while ago.  I tried to remember hard the exact words I said to her. I finally realized that I was literally shouting and barking at her for no reason. What did I do? How did I become devil suddenly?  I was hesitant to call her back. I decided to leave here message instead:

“Dear, I am sorry for being asshole. I take all my words back. Please don’t mind. You know lately I have been thinking a lot from my profession to yours, the near to impossible ladder we ought to climb, our relationship, family and siblings. I have been under lot of pressure and that has bogged my mind with lot of weights and it really is frustrating you know. I don’t even know myself as to what I have been thinking. The frustrations I have with in life is suddenly been diverted and you have become that unfortunate victim. I am sorry.And you know the long distance relationship actually sucks. And realizing this even sucks more. It pains me to know that nothing in life is without cost and compromises. But the bottom line is that no matter what, I am just me, that same innocent guy who you met five years back and I would just not change for some silly reasons like this.

With loads of love”

After waiting for some time eagerly, I finally got the reply:

“It is alright dear, I understand, but please don’t ever ask me how hard it is to be in long distance relationship, I know enough. Love you too”

Well, life is certainly uncertain. Sometimes the monster inside us rises and dominates us while at other time the saint inside overthrows it and a lot of good thing happens. Yet life goes on. Living alone actually sucks you know. Despite all that freedom and room to yourself you still feel something is missing. And this is the very plight of single man. Your mind becomes devils workshop at times although the good thing on the other hand is that you get to experience all the weird things that you missed in life..:P