LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

People say long distance relationship does not last long. However i say long distance relationship is best;  provided there exist complete trust and faith to each other. Long distance relationship teaches us to be faithful, trustful, and loyal not only to others but to yourself as well. Of course clouds of doubts and suspicions do come by along the line, yet these are but stepping stones onto which we can lay our trust, faith and loyalty.
Long distance relationship indicates how much we value each other and how much true we are to our self and how much it means to be but two as one. It tests our patience, our temperament, and frustration. As long as we overcome all these and are under our right hand, i think all is well. Although what is most essential in long relationship is the frequent reminder as to say how much we are to each other, the communication. On the other hand, the other type of relationship,this hardly takes place, because people are being blinded by the mere pleasures and unhealthy intentions which rather creates a foul atmosphere as a consequence as the time passes.
Friends often say to me: "when you will meet you sweetheart?" "Before you get to hold her she might run away " bla, bla...bla...how ever i am always firm (at least up to this day). what i believe is as long as we are bounded by unwavering thread of trust, faith and loyalty, everything would be at bay. Distance is not something for fearful; it is for the bold; for those who are willing to spend lot of time alone in the exchange for a little time with the loved ones; it is for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it really enough.
As Helen Keller says:"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot  be seen or touched; they must be felt with heart", i think it all depends on how true we are to our self. Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. we feel sad because we miss our loved ones and this reminds us how lucky are we to have someone so special to miss.

EMBARRASEMENT IS A GATE TO ALIENATION

Well to me it is but a fact that an embarrassment creates gap between oneself and the surroundings. The moment we are embarrassed, it seems like every one is ignoring us!. Some things in life are always complicated to understand. i just wonder if others also feel the same. A moment of shame shakes all the confidence we have, all the encouragement and motivation we got and even the dignity we have so to say. It seems to instantly isolate us from the rest of world. It may not be the case yet may be its the individual's own perception and this is what i feel.
Back in the primary to pre-college  times it was always a moment of pride when it came to academics and all was well, how ever, now life has changed! it is never the same and won't be. For last three years, and since then  it has been a moment full of tensions and insecurity. The mind has been into the state of frequent chaos, disorder and fights.Of course this stage of life being college life and the fact of this stage being one of the most wonderful is never kept aside.
People say engineering profession is the best and at least in India every parents wants their kid to become Engineer, no matter what. But I say with that stature comes equal difficulties and hardships, duties and responsibilities,  and if we not live up to that line of demarcation, its but full of tensions, frustrations, embarrassments and worries. Flipping back, i really feel ashamed to see myself as a typical student from a land that knows nothing worthy but at the same time the wish of making my self  at least on that brim is what kept me going.
 For me particularly i never even dream that life would turn out to such thing, from one side of the life, there was this blooming growth of romance and i ended up becoming the victim of so called LOVE, on other side there was a constant fear and worry as to how i might be able to live up to the expectations of my dear parents and there was also this tiny thread  of tensions  for i as always behind the other students. Yes it really disheartens to our own self being unable to live with the mass, who was once on the top rank.
How ever life has to go on, it doesn't wait for those who are slow, it doesn't show mercy either. it is just like a blink when i realizes that i have completed somehow the three long years of my course. i just have a year now to be an ENGINEER. I may have nothing obvious and nothing dramatic of my own course, but what i am really proud of is the wisdom i got about the life as a human being, life as typical peasant's son and difficulties it brings out of lacking. i have known the value of friendship, the value of money, the value of being loved and loving, and after all these i feel it wasn't at all a  waste.
May be i should cherish those moments rather than brooding about that small portion of darker side because life is short.
 

MOTHER"S DAY

God to a NINE year month baby: You are to be born on earth tomorrow. 
Baby (crying): How i will talk with people?
God: I already sent an angel to earth, she will teach you.
Baby: How will i pray to you?
God: The angel will teach you.
Baby: How will i know good or bad?
God: Angel will teach you
Baby:If i suffer from sorrow?
God: Angel will be there to listen
Baby: How do i find that angel?
God:Very simple; people called it 'MOTHER' 

Everything on this earth has alternatives, everything on earth can be replaced, bought on our own wish. But there are two things that are beyond our reach, which has neither alternatives nor can they be bought with all the heaps of wealth we have. And they are our parents: FATHER and MOTHER. Apart from the obvious facts of carrying us nine months and making us a real human beings what is more special about them is the LOVE for their children. No matter what kind of child we are, no matter how much we distress or annoys them, they have this unwavering LOVE, which never dies.  the love they have for their children is but TRUE and ETERNAL.
In Buddhism we say every living beings are our parents in this timeless existence, but to me particularly i feel the parents in this very life is all we have got in person, we can see with our own eyes, we can feel them and we know how much they  struggles to bring us up. And if at least we know the very value of present parents, i think our purposes will be well served for all the timeless parents.
I still remember the time when i was kid, when i used to nag mother for a coin and a packet of processed maize ('Ashaam Tengma') every day and my mother would without any reluctance prepare and send. And if at all she failed i used to get irritated and not go to school, how silly was I? Then my mother used to console me, say all the sweetest words and make me alright. That is the nature of mother; never tried of loving, never even caring; never tried of doing anything in their life for the sake of their children even at the cost of their own life. One time i bunked the class and went for fishing with a friend. In the evening my parents were already aware of that and my father was too much irritated that he directly came to beat me up, but before his hand reached my head, mother came in between and saved me. These are few things that reminds me everyday why they (both did as such). This incident particularly shows how parents are to their children, father shows his fatherly character so that the child never repeats, so that child is aware of his own mistake, while there is this gentle and soft mother who shows her children the value of simplicity and softness.

I know i can never repay what the parents have done to me, however the will to serve them with utmost dedication and loyalty is what i always wish and want. This is what keeps me going. This is what inspires and motivates me.May be at then end of day i will be able to satiate my self  and say that yes i have done my job. That is what i shall do in my short life and i swear to you my parents in this special day: MOTHER"S DAY 2012.

LIFE IS...

Life is a series of dreams
Either we can choose or lose
That unreal pleasure, joy and happiness
Or that soaring sorrow and grief
Which, to some is so brief
Live luxuriously on a cosy chair
Or struggle for a loaf of bread in despair
Lend lump some money on charity
Or beg the streets for a penny

Life is but a busy buzz
People on the rush to the work all day
A little time to stand and stare with gay
And feel that fresh and fancy breeze
Savor the sweet smell of daisies
An irony is at the end of day
A very few remains without a dept to pay

Life is but a curse
To prepare for the worse
High though titles and proud the name
It is the matter of how we play the game
At the gate of great leveler the death
Neither is the fame or boundless wealth
We may walk the beach with pride and honor
Only to know that it was a rumor

BEHIND THE CURTAIN

Some incidents and moments in life are never forgotten no matter what. The first crush, the first proposal and may be even the first passionate kiss and love too (for i am yet to go through this though..:(..:...). The worst ever fight on the other hand, the simple acts that wounds the heart, the silly beating by teacher and the parents are some of the most common things that stays somehow with us forever.
And if ever there is an instrument to measure and compare all these emotions, i might just be the first one to implement it and probably the very last one to leave.

Remembering the past good moments re-energies us, rejuvenates us and motivates us to higher heights. However even a touch on that worst ever and delicate spot of hurt, betrayal and hate cuts the wound even more deeper. Sometimes we are left with nothing but to curse our self for being that silly unable to forgive and forget. And to me particularly, the worst ever character is that once such things occurs its is really difficult to rub it. Even if i make my mind to forgive and forget, it is just impossible. What i really believe is the theorem of reciprocity and bidirectional. If someone seems good to me, i try to be best in all the possible ways, i like to be more closer, yet again if something happens for awkward and silly reasons and hurts me,then it stays with me unless I am begged with pardon .and considerations. The good thing though is when ever i see myself o the wrong arena, I immediately try to beg pardon. This is what my life is, only my life...

Well, it is but a fact that every thing will change and every thing changes, yet the little corner of my heart always say that there are always exceptions to anything, that's to say that change isn't inevitable every time and every where.
Behind curtain of every Hero, there is most dangerous Villain.
Behind every setting of sun there is always glorious morning sun waiting
Behind every wounded heart, there is always a soothing and healing pair
Just like behind every real image there is but Shadow.
what comes to us go somewhere, but yet again, something in life are never meant to meet, just as some friends are never meant to be forever. May be that is what a real life is: Indefinite, unfathomable and incomplete as well....

INFERIORITY COMPLEX...

Being the victim of inferiority complex from the minds of other is fine, yet being victim of the inferiority complex of our own self is far more worse, degrading and inflicting.

Sometimes the sorrow and sadness just keep us occupied. There is nothing but blankness that  hampers the very schedule of one's routine. The source of such state are numerous. They are just countless that nothing specific comes to our mind and mouth, even if we try to take sometime and note down on the sheet of paper. It is just impossible.and this is strange in fact!May be that's why such sorrow and sadness or depression so to say is so dangerous and unpredictable for we can't really see its depth.Of course we do know something is wrong but not what we are up to.
Just like a bird with weak wings have tough time resisting the strong current of winds, so is the life of a men with weak background and a weak steps to step upon. Frequent deceptions and prejudices conquers the life of ours disrupting and killing the very energy of motivation and eagerness. it weakens the very bond of relationship and trust.
The philosophy of Buddhism says that wealth or money means nothing when it comes the gate of death for we can't take with us, well that is obvious, however I personally feel that we humans are what wealth like money makes us.It seems to control every kind of situations and circumstances and even the emotions. when these abandons us everything around us seems to neglect us. yes there is huge difference between rich and poor. Death may not concern all these differences yet in this lively life this is all that seems to matter. Every body is hungry and craves and life demands its very requirement. Even the loved and closed ones are at stake without flips of this mere paper called money, and that is exactly why people crave and are attracted towards it.
Although human beings are one race with the mere fact that all are humans, there are so many differences. Not all are equal. Just because we are human doesn't make fulfill all the requirements of being equal. Some are born weak, others strong, some are born high and others low, as such there are lots of discrepancies. Life isn't fair.
Sometime I like to ask question why all this? Why all the differences? yet I am convinced and consoled after all for this is but fact; this is what life is. Not all cocoons goes to becoming butterfly.Not all win and soar,some need to suffer and lose for this is what is called BALANCE. Every one have their own chance, own share and I hope one day or the other my turn too will come by..

The mystery of my Life

We hardly know the value of life and love until we have that unexpected and tragic accident that completely changes the course of our life or unless we really get into the realities of being that crap who seems to be left all alone behind. The perceptions we have to life all changes then and that's when we really get into knowing the very ground realities of what life really is.

Life is fragile and it is one thing called LOVE that enriches and keeps it rigid and going..It gives the strength, the motivation and inspiration and best of all the HOPE, because even without anything but with hope, there is still some space somewhere in life. It beams the dimer light to a brighter one, and lightens the shadowed and darkness. It ignites very little spark into mighty flaring flame of fire.Thats the beauty of hope.But once gone,it is very difficult to revive,and so many prices are to be paid along. It is not that easy to get and not that easy to lose as well. May be its the only reason i am clinging right now. Even the love is secondary to hope. Love comes after the hope and leaves before too. Although the love has all the miracles of qualities to display, it is the hope that retains  and  if it is gone it is only with hope that it could be revived!.

Nothing in life is tethered, because everyone is but a free bird in their own way.Everyone has that right to fly and land. We can either fly to fright. or fly to a flawless field. It is right under our own hand, although the decisions we make have repercussions as well. The demarcations and the boundaries we create are just the demonstrations of anything being subjected to limitations and downfall. when the tide of exact time comes nothing can be barred or resisted. Sometimes life seems to just like cracking joke; a joke being cracked and everyone being fascinated and captured by that. The reactions to that joke just depends on how well its being cracked and the silent meaning behind. Most of us hardly think of that sarcastic meaning that a joke has because we are easily lured and deceived. Remember every joke has but secret truth behind.

I ask myself sometime: Do i really know what Love is or what Life is?  Am i ready to lose before i care about something? Is there someone willing from heart to shed tears if i do? Am i alone? And the good thing is the answers to questions we ask ourselves are but the very answers we might  want to get  from others. The answers are just within.